Wellcultured - Well Cultured is a men’s online magazine with advice and reviews on fashion, dating, finances, health, music, movies and many other topics, as well as a robust message board and the Well Cultured Guide, a freely editable community wiki.

What is the best way to get a shirt tailored? What do you recommend?

While there are a LOT of different ways and degrees to which you can get a shirt tailored, but there are four bigger (or at least, common) ways you can get a shirt tailored:

• You can get a shirt shortened. This mainly seems to happen to things like polo shirts and casual shirts. Dress shirts are usually intentionally long (to tuck better), so shortening them tends to be a bad idea, but some people still do it.
• You can get a shirt tapered. A simple taper is usually just slimming the shirt at the waist, usually from about the beginning of the side seams down. This is what most guys have to get tailored on virtually every shirt. Most shirts (for some strange reason) get wider/baggier as they go down, whereas most guys need them to taper in to a slimmer fit. This is generally the bread and butter of tailoring.
• You can get sleeves shortened. Most neck sizes are sold with corresponding sleeve lengths — for example, a Size 16 neck is usually associated with a 32/33 or 34/35 sleeve length. This doesn’t work for everyone, and as such, you can get the sleeves shortened.
• You can get the arms AND the body slimmed. In perhaps a more dramatic sense, you can get the arms slimmed and the body slimmed at the same time — basically slimming the shirt as much as possible. This has the (good, but possibly bad) effect of also making the chest slimmer. This is the most extensive (and usually most expensive) amount of tailoring, but it also can drastically transform a crappy shirt into a good one.

With that being said, a good tailor will be able to identify what you need done and will be able to assist you in measuring, pinning, and ultimately getting the work done to your satisfaction. Still, some general tips:

• When you go to a new tailor, bring in a cheaper, more destructible shirt to have them do the work on. Don’t risk your entire wardrobe initially.
• Check the tailor’s work. Check the inside sewing for any issues (loose threads, bad stitching, mismatched stitching, etc) and be willing to demand fixes if necessary. Sometimes, legitimate errors are made, but that doesn’t mean you do not hold them accountable.
• When a tailor pins your shirts, always have them pin each one, on both sides. Even if all of your shirts are the same brand/size/year, they will vary, and so will your individual sides. If your tailor doesn’t take the time to pin properly (and measure while doing so), find another tailor.
• Don’t feel bad about having a tailor do even relatively small work. Even a half inch on a shirt can make a lot of difference. Be picky.
• At the same time, don’t tailor a shirt TOO much. Seek a fitted shirt, but not a skin tight one. Skin tight dress shirts pull at the chest/stomach, making them unsightly and awkward looking. You should be able to move your arms freely and feel relaxed in a shirt, and it should always have the slightest bit of room in any part of your body (after all, you may gain muscle or fat).

I’m a thin 22-year old guy of moderate height (5’11″), and in need of new clothes and ideas of all kinds – casualwear, possible winter combos, and so on. However, Don Cherry (Canadian here) has better fashion sense than I do. What articles of clothing should I go and get before summer ends that won’t make me look like I’m still in high school? Let me know if there’s any issues. Thanks!

You’re actually at a perfect age to begin thinking about this. At 22 or so, you’ve finally stopped growing, your proportions are pretty much finalized (and since you’re thin now, it’s likely you’ll be thin in the future), and you’re just about ready to begin kicking into the workforce full force. With that being said, here are some basic tips to get you started:

First of all, ditch all teen labels pronto. This is one of the bigger issues most people have — they continue to wear stuff like Abercrombie into their twenties. Unless it fits really well or you simply cannot afford another better quality/better looking/more adult replacement, ditch whatever you have. Obviously, don’t go and burn your whole wardrobe at once, but try to, as much as possible, distance yourself from teen brands.

Second off, invest in clothing that’s more adult that works well in a variety of contexts. For example, a simple blazer (tan, navy, or black) can be dressed up for work, dressed down with jeans, and the like. Get rid of graphic t-shirts, and try to wear something other than a plain t-shirt most of the time. Dress shirts can be worn casually, pending they are well tailored and not terribly formal — invest in some good fitting oxford cloth button-down shirts, some colorful lighter dress shirts, and the like. Transition out of sneakers — a good pair of black or brown dress loafers, when not excessively dressy, can be worn with jeans, slacks, or even a suit. Get rid of most of your hoodies and the like — they are never flattering. The nice thing about dressing a bit classier is that a lot of your wardrobe will mesh with professional wear for work — meaning you’ll begin to outfit yourself with a decent wardrobe for the office, the classroom, and for out on the town. Naturally, no matter what you purchase, it should fit you well.

As for outfits, like the above, try to pair professional with casual. For an everyday outfit, try to pair good dark jeans (which tend to be more classy/adult) with well tailored but casual dress shirts and comfortable oxfords, boots, or similarly adult shoes. To dress it up, throw on a blazer. For cold weather, look into nice but casual wool coats like a nice pea coat or car coat, either of which you should get tailored to fit your body well. Nice sweaters are also a way to adapt to cold weather — v-necks in particular can be worn with ties for a nice preppy-ish look. Don’t be afraid to wear casual or dress pants out and around with a shirt or even a sweater, just make sure they are sufficiently casual (i.e. not from your suit). The combinations you can make with the aforementioned clothing items are pretty much limitless — you could wear a sweater with an oxford shirt and a blazer, a coat with a casual (slimmer) tie, just one of the shirts with the sleeves down or even rolled up, and the like.

Really, the key here is to show that you wear clothing because you want to look good, not because of some sort of odd peer pressure or pressure from your parents. Dress like you mean it and dress well.

If you haven’t been under a proverbial rock on the internet, you’ve likely heard about Chat Roulette, the website that, as it indicates, allows you to play a “game” by randomly chatting with people all over the world with a webcam. And, subsequently, as you can imagine, it’s anything but clean or normal — filled with strange people doing terrible things for anyone who will watch (and people begging for more of it), it’s basically a cesspit of the internet. However, you can learn a lot from the website — especially about dating. Here are 5.

1. You have to sift through a lot of people to find someone worth it.

The first big thing most people notice on Chat Roulette is the ridiculous speed at which it operates. Likely fueled by a collective desire to be talking to someone better, most people click the “next” button on virtually everyone and everything that is not immediately entertaining, meaning finding someone to even talk to is nearly impossible. Even when you do sit and talk to someone for more than two seconds, many find that the person isn’t that entertaining in the first place. You will almost always find idiot 16 year olds or college students  trying to be “clever” with a mask or a prank, lots of creepy old men, strange people demanding nudity, and the like — it’s all pretty irritating, and time consuming, but necessary to go through if you want to find someone worth talking to.

It works in exactly the same way in the dating world. It takes a long time to sift through all the creeps, desperate girls, and strange women in order to find a good date. The thing is, it’s obligatory — avoiding it entirely results in you possibly losing a good opportunity. Remember, even when you have one or two bad dates, or even if you have to spend hours finding someone even worth talking to, it’s all part of the refinement process — there’s no reason to be depressed.

2. You are never as cool as you think you are.

Another thing you learn quickly on Chat Roulette is that a lot of 14-to-25 year old guys seem to think they look good in tank tops, sunglasses, “club” shirts, or shirtless. Some will have guitars, knives, guns, backwards baseball hats, or other blatant attempts at seeming “cool” or “amusing”. Lazier ones will simply drink copious amounts of alcohol. All seem to operate on the presumption that they look “cool” and “interesting” — that dressing in a certain way and doing certain things will get them female attention.

The truth is anything but. Most of them all look the same: that is, universally stupid. Sure, you can manipulate a web cam all you want, but nothing entirely hides being a try-hard. The same very much happens in the dating world — you can try to act “hardcore” all you want, but most people can spot a fake easily. Be yourself — it’s ultimately more realistic, not to mention rewarding.

3. Rejection matters little.

As I mentioned above, Chat Roulette moves fast, and you’ll get rejected, even when you think you look normal and try to be polite. It happens — people are looking for certain things, and will even go so far as to lie to try to get what they want. Long story short? You will be rejected.

And, like the above, don’t be depressed by it. Rejection happens — it’s part of the refining process, and really an inevitable byproduct of dating. Those who learn to accept rejection and move on are the best kind of daters — they understand they can learn from it, and don’t become too emotionally torn. The worst daters obsess over it, wondering “what if” and obsessively trying again and again. Be like the first group — be willing to learn from rejection, and ultimately accept it as part of the process.

4. Presentation matters, a lot.

Presentation matters, period. In the context of Chat Roulette, it matters in that it is the first thing people see about you — and it determines if they want to chat with you or not. Clothing, hairstyle, the way you are sitting, the first words you say — everything matters.

Real life, especially the dating world, works in the very same way. Though many may claim they don’t care about looks, they do (to some degree), and looks matter — not exclusively in the “handsome” or “ugly” context, but rather how you present yourself, your movements, the way you speak, where you look, and the like. Everything factors in to the construction of the gestalt of your image in their eyes — and you need to manage your image in order to be attractive to the opposite sex. People can and will judge you based on your clothing, your haircut, your shoes, the gestures you make, your mannerisms, the speed and way in which you speak, and everything else possible — it all matters, even if people do not actively realize they judge based upon it. Long story short, work on the way you present yourself, as it matters a lot in the dating world.

5. No-one wants to see you naked. No, really.

This is, by far, the biggest lesson you can learn from Chat Roulette: no normal woman, in any frame of mind, wants to see a random guy naked, pretty much regardless of how good he looks. Certainly, if you have a nice body, she may notice it — but as I’ve mentioned before in other articles, women are not as visual as men, and chances are you’d do leagues better simply wearing clothes than you ever would being naked.

This issue really spawns from an issue with how guys typically think women get turned on. To men, a naked woman is incredibly sexy — so many men think that, to a woman, a naked man is just as sexy. However, it doesn’t entirely work like that — women are much more cerebral about their turn-ons, and the simple availability of a naked man does not a turn-on make.

So, with that being said, the message for real-life application is just as it is online: don’t expect your naked body to be some sort of insta-turn on. Learn to do things more than just strip naked. You’ll be much better off.

Are hoodies fashionable?

Not really. Hoodies are typically incredibly baggy and misshapen, which means that they do not flatter any sort of figure well. Most people associate them with laziness and juvenile outfits, which worsens the entire effect. This isn’t to say you can’t wear them from time to time, just don’t expect them to be considered remarkable in any way.

To aid you in your shopping in 2010, I’ve decided to compile a new list for shopping advice- that is, a collection of stores you’d normally run into in an American mall, with commentary and critique to prepare you if you go shopping now or in the future. As a disclaimer, please note this is by no means comprehensive- however, I’m trying to hit the “big” stores (as in, the ones you’d see the most often in your average mall)- so the list is by no means comprehensive, but potentially helpful nonetheless.

Old Navy

The Breakdown:Old Navy is becoming increasingly popular as the economy dips, and will probably grow in popularity in 2010. Old Navy is best where it is simple- that is, the best Old Navy clothing is the basics, including t-shirts, underwear, socks, and the like. Unfortunately, like any Gap brand, Old Navy suffers from over sizing to the point of almost being ridiculous- meaning finding good fits is ironically harder than at more expensive retailers. Additionally, the brand is seemingly stuck in the fashion of years ago, re-branding old styles (baggy shorts, graphic tees, etc) that weren’t wonderful in the first place. Nonetheless, given the ridiculously cheap pricing on some decent clothing, don’t entirely ignore Old Navy- but don’t rely on it for any sort of serious outfit creation.
Recommended: Men’s Classic V-Neck Tees, $8.50/ea. A decent purchase in enough colors and basic enough to be paired with a variety of outfits.
Not Recommended: Anything close to their attempts to be a “surf-wear” brand- including but not limited to their board shorts, graphic hoodies, baggy shorts, etc.

The Gap

The Breakdown: The Gap is one of the closest things to a basic American retailer- being neither remarkably exciting nor boring, neither expensive nor cheap, the Gap seems to fill in that “middle tier” that is an increasingly small field in the fashion world. Because of this, The Gap is a mixed bag- on some occasions, their clothing is remarkably good and worth every penny, whereas other times their clothing isn’t worth the textiles they are made with. Ultimately, The Gap is a good choice for any shopping trip, just one that should be handled gingerly. Like its little brother Old Navy, The Gap should be your source for basics.
Recommended: Shawl collar cotton sweater, $69.50. Kent houndstooth clean pants, $49.99.  Fitted Aubrey plaid shirt, $34.99 (or similar flannel).
Not Recommended: While occasionally good, some Gap coats and blazers tend to be very cheap- be careful.

Banana Republic

The Breakdown: Banana Republic holds the dubious honor of being the most respectable Gap brand, as it is what one may consider a competing brand to more fashionable/expensive brands like J.Crew. Banana Republic focuses predominantly on more formal and adult clothing and suiting, which makes it a great brand for the fashion forward, though it suffers from increasingly becoming a very bland and sometimes overpriced brand. Though I used to absolutely adore and incessantly recommend this brand, I have become very cautious of the brand, especially as the sizes seem to be increasing- again, be careful.
Recommended: Tonal stripe tie, $49.50. Silk/cotton solid v-neck sweater, $59.50. Virtually anything from the Monogram Collection.
Not Recommended: Purchasing anything without trying it on. BR’s sizing has ballooned ridiculously, meaning the fit is becoming baggy and quite ugly. Tread carefully.

Express

The Breakdown: At its best, Express is a brand much akin to Banana Republic, featuring wonderful suiting and great semi-formal attire. At its worst, Express is unfortunately the progenitor of what many call stereotypical “metrosexual” wear- that is, overdesigned, horribly trashy clothing.  My advice with Express is fairly simple- if the clothing fits you well, try to buy it on sale, when it becomes arguably much more worth the money (Express is often slightly more expensive than it is worth). Express sale racks are treasure troves. Be warned, however- Express shirts often contain spandex, which requires serious ironing.
Recommended: Fitted 1MX Shirt, $49.50. MK2 Fitted Stretch Cotton Military Shirt, $59.50.
Not Recommended: Tees, some polos, outerwear, and anything with the word “Graphic” in the title.

J.Crew

The Breakdown: When Banana Republic and I had a nasty break-up, I turned to J.Crew, which has now gone from pretty good to absolutely awesome (arguably due to some nice GQ coverage). J.Crew is the absolute bomb when it comes to suiting, formal wear, and even some casual wear- and though they still suffer sometimes from offering somewhat bland offerings, J.Crew has (in my mind) drastically improved their offerings across  the board. The one thing that may limit them is simply their offerings in their stores- some physical stores are loaded with goodies, whereas others seem sparse and somewhat boring.
Recommended: Red Wing Iron Ranger boots, $298. ANYTHING from the Suiting section. Secret Wash button-down shirt in faded gingham, $59.50. Cotton-cashmere cardigan, $69.50.
Not Recommended: Avoid their baggier fare and their shorts- neither tend to be particularly flattering.

American Apparel

The Breakdown: 50% good quality basics, 50% insane hipster trash. American Apparel does the very basics very well- it’s incredibly difficult to beat the quality of their shirts, henleys, and the like. However, American Apparel has a hipster dark side, and it makes them come out with some of the stupidest stuff you’ve ever seen. You might even feel awkward walking into a store- but trust me, there’s good stuff inside, hidden behind all of the irony.
Recommended: 2456 Fine Jersey Short Sleeve V-Neck, $19. T457 Baby Thermal Long Sleeve Henley, $24.
Not Recommended: If you think the person behind the counter would wear it, do not buy it.

Abercrombie & Fitch

The Breakdown: Most in the US have heard of Abercrombie & Fitch, the big California-slash-Miami retailer that sells the “Abercrombie” look- tight muscle tees, baggy pants, and generally “beach” clothing. As it was last year, and will be this year, Abercrombie is tired, and it is seemingly having trouble with sales given the company’s lack of new material, not to mention the economy impoverishing a large percentage of Abercrombie’s consumer base. I should be paid for the number of times I have entered this smelly store for this website.
Recommended: Simmons Pond (Military shirt in green drab), $50. The Redfield Wax Jacket, $149.50.
Not Recommended: Their swimwear, graphic tees, polos, faded jeans, sandals, etc etc.

American Eagle

The Breakdown: A horrible retailer seemingly trying to emulate Abercrombie & Fitch that nonetheless can come out with some absolutely positively decent pieces at random with no prior warning, sending all of us fashion kids home to crawl in our closets and shudder, wondering if our taste has gone poor. American Eagle’s shirt and “basics” offerings are decent at best- the quality is what one might expect at the price point: generally equal to the Gap or a similar brand. That being said, go inside, but expect one good thing out of 100 bad things, unless you’re quite lenient.
Recommended: AE Classic Wingtip, $59.50. Eagle Premium Striped Shirt, $49.50. AE Vintage Cabin Boot, $89.50. Anything basic, pending it fits well.
Not Recommended: Anything not very basic.

Armani Exhange

The Breakdown: Once a really Eurotrash brand. Still a really Eurotrash brand. Occasionally decent, but otherwise very outlandish and sometimes absolutely ridiculous. Armani Exchange seemingly dives into strange self-created fashion trends independent of any sort of normal fashion trends- not entirely a bad thing by any means, but certainly strange. Expect a lot of things one might expect a strange clubgoer to wear. Not entirely a store you ever need to visit to be fashionable, but okay for a look.
Recommended: Textured Stripe Shirt, $79 (the closest thing I could find to a basic article of clothing, though admittedly overpriced).
Not Recommended: Pretty much everything the store carries.

Kenneth Cole

The Breakdown: Kenneth Cole is really best known for their shoe offerings, but they also tend to have some pretty decent clothing as well, depending on your style and taste. I like to consider Kenneth Cole the store to find “city fashion” in- that is, darker colors, slimmer cuts, more adult fare, and the like. Kenneth Cole is not entirely a perfect brand by any means- I personally find some of their clothing and shoes to be somewhat cheap and boring, though some articles of clothing are pretty nice.
Recommended: Two-Button Hacking Notch Jacket, $198. Some shoe offerings.
Not Recommended: Most shoe offerings- avoid anything with a square toe, fake design, or strange look.

Guess

The Breakdown: Really, Guess is a jeans brand, just one that has (like many others) expanded out. Like Armani, however, they tend to try to overdesign their clothing, which can result in some truly atrocious designs best left for those odd enough to purchase them. Guess jeans are a mixed bag, at least so far as I have seen- though many love them for their supposed quality and texture, many find them to be a little bit too expensive for their worth as well as overdone- it’s really a personal preference thing. Stick to Guess’ jeans and similar offerings, which seem to be safer and better quality overall.
Recommended: If it fits you well and you like the slightly more rock style, Guess Denim.
Not Recommended: With only a few exceptions, everything else.

Buckle

The Breakdown: Buckle is an amalgamation of “surf” and “skater” brands- meaning, as you might imagine, the store is quickly aging in the world of fashion. While advancing somewhat and picking up on new trends, the brand nonetheless  is still stuck in the mid-’00s, a problem they seem unlikely to solve. As a general rule, it’s unlikely you will find much here that’s distinctly fashionable. Honestly, I predict Buckle will eventually (but slowly) fade away in the next 10 years unless the brand makes a large jump towards something more stylish- I highly doubt that many people will want surf/skate brands as much as they do now.
Recommended: I have absolutely no idea.
Not Recommended: Everything.

Urban Outfitters

The Breakdown: Much like Buckle, UO is an amalgamation of different brands- except in this case, UO is a little bit more toward the current fashion trends. UO balances the precarious line between normal clothing and American Apparel-esque hipster crap. With that being said, I tend to smile on UO more than I frown, though admittedly some of their clothing is absolutely horrible. When shopping at UO, try to avoid going for the super-trendy and effeminate gear they sometimes try to sell- look for their better deals, which are the great fitting shirts, coats, and sometimes pants. UO also carries a wonderful selection of skinny Levis, if they fit you well.
Recommended: BDG Professor Shawl Collar Cardigan, $48. Levis 511 Skinny Trouser, $54.
Not Recommended: Most of their “experimental” clothing, including their very baggy sweaters/cardigans, their super-skinny oddly fitting pants, and the like.

Ralph Lauren (Polo Ralph Lauren, Ralph Lauren Black, etc)

The Breakdown: Ralph Lauren continues to be the quintessential American brand- polo shirts, sporty clothing, the works. Really, Ralph Lauren doesn’t change much from year to year- their style remains the same, and though they often change their offerings, the vast majority of it is still as sporty, somewhat preppy, and generally well made as ever.
Recommended: Really, most of everything- the polos, the shirts, the pants, etc- pending it fits well and is somewhat classic.
Not Recommended: Most of anything in Ralph Lauren’s cheaper lines such as “Lauren” and “American Living”, which are not as well made and generally somewhat uglier.

Brooks Brothers

The Breakdown: Brooks is more of your grandfather’s suiting store than your father’s- it’s that old. That being said, Brooks does suiting well- they are, in my opinion, the upper tier of suiting, pending you can tailor them after purchase. Thom Brown’s work with Brooks- the Black Fleece line- is even better. That being said, Brooks is oldschool to a fault, a fact which means 95% of their clothing is anything but trendy, and often is aimed more towards older working men than you. While the quality is superior (and, in my opinion, worth the price), it’s sometimes hard to find what you’re looking for.
Recommended: Anything reasonable in the Black Fleece line. Most suiting, pending it fits right.
Not Recommended: Brooks’ ascots, frumpy sweaters, etc.

What do you think of piercings on men, specifically earrings/plugs? What is fashionable?

I’m going to be hated for my response to this. Allow me to be blunt: piercings are bad ideas. Very bad ideas.

My first reason for not liking piercings is purely aesthetic- on men, they don’t tend to be that fashionable at all. Even beyond earrings (which still carry the stigma of homosexuality, at least in certain configurations), piercings on the face and body tend to look childish and low class in most societies. Though it may be considered attractive in punk/hipster circles, even the most trashy of male celebrities tend to have the good sense not to pierce themselves up because they know it often is a clear detriment to their appearance. In a world where men’s jewelry is a tough field to deal with, men’s piercings are proverbial fashion landmines ready to destroy your looks. There’s nothing quite as odd as seeing a pierced-up guy trying to wear a business suit- it’s awkward, to say the least.

The second reason I have a distaste for piercings is because I know how they affect the way others see the pierced person. Piercings are, in standard Western society, often associated with lower class people and silly teenagers- a stereotype that, while it may be inaccurate, still is incredibly powerful. Having a piercing can easily prevent you from getting certain jobs, being respected in certain circles, and even prevent you from potential dates. Disagree with their perceptions as much as you like- it’s still a viable issue.

So there you have it. Rather than make body modifications, focus on clothing and styles that you can easily change. Just trust me.

Do you have any specific suggestions for short men to dress well?

There are a few ways to keep your silhouette looking nice if you are short, and they all generally revolve around fit and proportion.

First off, the biggest rule to follow is to avoid artificially widening yourself out- if you are short, you can easily run the risk of looking fat with the wrong clothing. Avoid wearing horizontal stripes, double breasted suits, baggy clothes of ANY kind, spread collar shirts, super baggy sweaters… you get the idea. These have a nasty tendency to in essence give the illusion of you being fat or ill-proportioned, which is something you want to avoid like the plague.

The big concept in dressing for shorter guys is in giving the illusion of height- something that can be done both by good clothing style as well as good proportion. Try to wear clothing that is as slim as possible- slim jeans, slim coats, slim shirts, you get the idea. Don’t wear super-skinny jeans or anything- just find something that clings to your body well without looking skin-tight. Try to fit everything proportionally- that is, don’t have over sized jeans or an over sized shirt- try to make everything “flow” well and seem well put together. Vertical lines are your friend. As a general rule, when purchasing clothes, try to stick with simpler colors- some tend to feel that makes shorter guys look better.

Other than that, though, don’t feel like you have to dress radically differently than anyone else. The biggest thing to worry about is fit- and so long as what you are wearing fits you well and is decently proportioned to your body, you will do wonderfully.

What top tier brands should I buy? Are there any that are safe bets? Are there any that I should save up for?

Short answer: There are none, no, and no.

Long answer: Brand should only matter to you in so much as quality and style is concerned. Outside of the aforementioned, brand matters very little.

One very sad misconception in the fashion industry is that, to be fashionable, you have to drop a lot of cash on big name brands. This couldn’t be further from the truth. While some name brands are of high quality (Brooks Brothers, Dior Homme, etc), other “top tier” brands (Ed Hardy, Rock & Republic) are just… bad. These seem to operate as pseudo-Veblen Goods- despite their relative unfashionable styling, it is their price that dictates their popularity in the fashion world. Of course, as you can probably imagine, this means that a lot of “fashionable” people wear these brands without even realizing how dumb they look.

To hell with brand. If the quality and style are good, feel free to buy any brand, regardless of the popularity.

I’m a recovering Anime fanboy and I’m trying to be more adult. What can I do to myself and my pad to be more mature?

Quite a bit.

First off, let’s dispel some rumors. Unfortunately, like it or not, in America and most other Western countries (as well as in many Asian countries), Anime, Manga, and similar “interests” are stereotyped as being geeky, perverse, and generally bad- something that comes from a long line of creepy subject material. One thing you have to do to really “grow up”, per se, is to understand that stuff like this should be enjoyed in a very limited sense, if at all.

I know that sounds rough, but it’s really a mindset you need to get into. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a passive interest in pretty much anything, so long as you are able to function properly and behave yourself otherwise. Covering your walls with wallscrolls and/or filling your bookshelves with manga is not the way to achieve this.

The first thing you need to do is purge yourself of the very obviously offensive things- pornographic materials and/or just “creepy” stuff. If it’s something that the average 2ch browser would call “moe”, then you should discard of it. This includes, but is not limited to, collections of erotic drawings of any kind, figures, erogames, and other stuff you would not want the average person (say, your boss or someone) to casually see.

The second thing you need to do is think hard about getting rid of basically all of your Anime and Manga. I know it sounds quite destructive to just say “get rid of everything”, but it’s truly the best option. Because of the current popularity, you can make quite a bit of money back by selling such materials on websites like eBay- a great way to make cash back on stuff you already own. Ditch the temptation to hoarde games and other media formats: trust me, in 5 years, you won’t care if you managed to collect every single copy of some sort of Anime DVD or not. It doesn’t matter, you will have better things in life.

The third thing you can do is pretty straightforward along these lines- ditch any classic signs of being an Anime fan. No themed t-shirts, no themed beanies, no branded messenger bags, none of it. No “cute” buttons. No anime character straps. Do not.

Finally, make what you have left palatable. There’s nothing wrong with keeping some stuff you truly enjoy around- but limit the number heavily, and have a reason for keeping the object in question. For example, feel free to keep some old copies of the original Mobile Suit Gundam laying around- it’s geeky, but in a kind of tasteful, ironic, cool sort of way. Having copies of some fanservice anime with huge tits laying on the table is much less so.

Don’t get a bad taste in your mouth and think I’m trying to make you stop being yourself- I’m trying to teach you how to be moderate with your interests. Much like it would be silly to obsess over cars to the point of having a room full of car parts, it is silly to obsess over Anime and Manga like most do to the point of harming their real lives. Reduce yourself down and moderate your interests and you’ll quickly find that it’s much easier to live a “normal” life.