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How do I find more dominant girls?

Written by Mr. WellCultured, Sunday, August 31st, 2008 in Q&As

Basically, I want to find a girl who is able and willing to be the ‘man’ of the relationship. Willing to swap the gender roles and enjoy it. How do I find these girls?

Well, this is difficult.

My first reaction to your question is to say that it’s very difficult to find girls who are of a specific interest like that, but the rule of thumb has always been to go where girls you like may congregate. The mantra has always been simple in this regard- if you like sporty girls, don’t look for them in libraries, look for them in athletic clubs. Similarly, while I can’t think of anything that would particularly apply in this case, if you want a girl who is more dominant, you may want to look somewhere that you may find them- I’ve always felt that more domineering girls are in stuff like Political Science or Gender Politics type groups/clubs, especialy in Highschool/College, but it may differ on where you are.

The best advice I can give you is go hunting online (yes, for the first time I’m advocating staying online rather than improving yourself online). Go to a dating site- I’ve covered the basics of this before. Go on there and take a personality test (or whatever they have) and answer the obvious questions pertaining to your interests (i.e. try to make it obvious you want a more submissive role) and see where the site takes you. Whenever you have more arcane interests, you are best suited looking online first, as I doubt there is a “league of dominant women looking for submissive men” in your community.

In any case, good luck.

3 Responses to How do I find more dominant girls?

  1. flamingo says:

    I think an important thing to address here is why does this guy want a woman who is exceptionally dominant? I think he needs to do some serious self-analysis because there’s a good chance that the only reason he wants a woman who will take the lead is because he’s too afraid (or doesn’t know how) to take the lead himself.

    If you ask me (which you didn’t, but I don’t give a fuck), you need to work on your self-confidence, and learn how to take on more of a leadership role. Then you won’t feel like you need to hunt for only one very rare kind of woman (essentially a woman who acts like a man); you will be able to have a relationship with any kind of woman because you will be able to be a leader.

    The fact of the matter is, women are not evolutionarily programmed to be the dominant one in a relationship. That’s not to say women are weak – far from it – but the vast majority of women like it when the man takes the lead, when he is in control.

    Working on your self-confidence and leadership skills will not only help you in your relationships with women, but in all aspects of your life: work, school, etc.

    Just something to think about.

    • Caleb~ says:

      I totally agree, but some guys don’t feel comfortable overall, as in they prefer to be with a dominant girl. This can be either self preference, or as you said, lack of confidence.

  2. Tyciol says:

    A guy doesn’t necessarily need to pick himself apart flamingo. You could just as easily self-analyze why a guy would want a submissive girl. There are benefits to having both submissive and dominant qualities in a girl. A girl who is ‘dominant’ compared to other girls may just be able to relate as an equal to us. Asking for a dominant girl isn’t necessarily wanting to be submissive, just not wanting to be dominating yourself.

    This stuff about ‘evolutionary role’ is bull, nobody gives a crap about that anymore, the more interesting people surpass their roles anyway, step outside of them, and become hwo they want to be.

    Guys don’t want dominant girls just out of fear of taking the lead, that assumes people want to. Some guys are just lazy or don’t know how (or want to) lead a relationship, others like the challenge of a more aggressive and strong girl. In some cases, wanting that can take more strength, you might just as easily say a guy is afraid to be around a strong girl so he only picks women who are pushoves.

    There’s actually no straight answer, because our reasons for liking different kinds of people always vary.

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