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How do I Meet Girls Online?

Written by Mr. WellCultured, Wednesday, December 17th, 2008 in Q&As

I always wonder what people think of meeting girls online. I have terrible luck at meeting girls off the net and find it so much easier to get to know them over the net. I know most of my friends shun on meeting girls online so I tend to avoid telling them about someone I’m talking to.

The other problem with the net is it’s so hard to find someone in your area, especially if you don’t live in a city. After many years of looking I’ve yet to find someone in my own state, and I’m not a fan of “long distance relationships”, because they work so rarely. I know there are dating sites out there that give an alright chance of meeting someone who’s looking for a guy and also lives near by, but most, at least in Australia, charge a ridiculous amount just to send messages. I’m fine spending money on a girl, just not $10 a message talking to one.

Allow me to throw my two cents in.

The problem with modern society nowadays is that we are very very secluded and separated. Thanks to television, the Internet, movies, and other forms of entertainment, our society has the dubious benefit of being able to stay inside away from people essentially forever. People in the 18-30 age range, generally the most eligible age range, are secluding themselves away with this technology- I can name numerous men and women I know who don’t even bother going out to social functions- they work, they go home, and they sleep. Unfortunately, this places a hell of a lot of strain on the dating scene- where in years before you could easily find people through various social functions and groups, now it’s gotten a little bit harder, even if you DO go to said functions.

That being said, I have nothing wrong with looking for dates on the Internet. It’s new technology and it’s great. Meeting people online is a great way to connect intellectually with someone before you do physically, and for women, it provides a safe barrier to real life that allows one to (effectually and ineffectually) screen daters. Basically, internet dating websites are now what matchmakers were years and years ago, just much more intelligent and not so creepy. Sure, dating websites are often made fun of and considered creepy, but when you consider the other popular option- going to some bar and hitting on inebriated women/men- it seems sterile in comparison. Don’t be embarrassed you are on a dating website- just be glad your idea of finding a soul mate isn’t finding the drunkest and hottest bird in the bar.

So far as finding women in your area/finding an affordable site, there are some options you have.

First off, yes, there may be a small amount of women in your area. It’s pretty much that way outside of huge cities like New York or San Francisco. The only advice I can give you is to contemplate traveling (long distance relationships work better now than they ever have- just be willing to meet twice a month or so) and find more dating websites. Both of these are hard- the former can be a hit on your wallet and wear your car to pieces, the latter can mean you have to go hunting for free stuff (or, like the former, pay a lot of money). Once you make one profile, there’s nothing saying you can’t copy+paste your ass all over the Internet.

Second off, understand that some of the best dating sites require payment. This is a good thing (in a way). Like World of Warcraft, making people pay for a service, even if it’s $.50, cuts out a HUGE percentage of spam, fakeposts, and other kinds of bullcrap. With increased security like that, you can be relatively assured that the person in the photo is somewhat legitimate- just look at Craigslist if you want an example of what happens when you don’t expect payment. Still, there are plenty of websites (notably OkCupid, one of the more popular ones) that are free-like-beer- check them out.

In any case, good luck. Finding a date, online or not, is a pain.

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2 Responses to How do I Meet Girls Online?

  1. pi4arctan1guy says:

    +1 to OkCupid.

    I haven’t personally found a date on it before, what with my not taking it seriously and all, but I have friends who have found one-time dates and long term relationships using it. Of course, these friends are almost all women, so your mileage may vary.

    I would suggest following some basic principles to increase the chances of getting a response, especially if your options are limited, due to living in a rural area. Make sure to mention something from her profile in your message. A lot of men message women in batch without reading or even looking at profiles. When 3/4 of a woman’s inbox is basically man-spam, you have to differentiate yourself from it by showing that you read the profile.

    The other thing is to make a message that is easy to respond to. For example, ask questions in your message. “Hi, you seem like someone I’d like to get to know” isn’t a good message, because it’s not asking for any specific response. “I noticed you said you like PHP programming in your profile. What sort of things do you like to write?” is a better message (although you might want to make it a little more ‘dressy’ than that). Basically, make it easy to respond. Asking about a hobby or interest is a reasonable ice breaker. It also shows that you read her profile.

    Also, use your, you’re, they’re, their, and they’re correctly. Use spellcheck. Firefox has it built in. I know women who like to show me poorly crafted OkCupid messages and talk about them like trophies. Don’t be one of those guys.

  2. Tyciol says:

    That’s a good point about the pay sites. Sometimes we browse the free ones too casually, when you’re paying money you’re more motivated to make it worth your while by fixing yourself up to be presentable to a lady. You’re going to find one that has her life together because she can afford it, and more importantly, you’re forced to get your work and savings together so you can as well, since there’s no point dating if you’re in debt.

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