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Answering Frisky’s 10 Misunderstood things about Men

Written by Anonymous, Sunday, September 13th, 2009 in Dating Columns, Sex & Dating

confused_woman_m“The Frisky”, a Turner-run equivalent to this site for women, has recently posted an article simply entitled “10 Things Women Don’t Understand About Men“, in which they ask some really ridiculous questions about men’s behavior. That being said, obviously, such an opportunity will not go ignored here- so here are the answers for The Frisky’s “10 Things Women Don’t Understand About Men“.

1. What is so hard about asking for directions?

It’s all ego and a little bit of wanderlust. The predominant theme, of course, is the ego- and in a general sense, the desire to fix something for oneself. Men typically are acculturated (at least in the west) to be as little interdependent as possible, which is precisely why the problem of “we’re lost” is generally fixed by the thought of “I’ll find a way out by myself”. As well, most guys have a kind of passive desire to discover things for themselves, as opposed to following directions- meaning, in essence, that it’s more “fun” to see the inner mechanisms yourself than to have someone explain it to you in detail.

2. Why do you need a gadget to unlock your car door?

I’m not sure why (stereotypical) women pretend like they don’t have their own gadgetry to fool around with- like vibrating mascara brushes (yes, that does sound dirty) and the like. In general, men like gadgets because they represent the new and the strange- and a lot of guys like the status bonus of having the latest and greatest stuff. As ironic as it may be, this is the exact reason why many self-important “businessmen” once ran around with pagers strapped to their belts- it had nothing to do with convenience as much as it had to do with the ambiance it perceptibly gave them.

3. What is it about “Star Wars”?

“Star Wars” is famous because it is generally accepted to be a really good genre-defining movie. “Star Wars” isn’t what we would consider some sort of tear-jerking masterpiece of writing, but what it does is evokes a sense of fun that only the Sci-Fi genre can. Similarly, movie series like the “Indiana Jones” series do this well not because of the complexity of the story, but because, in a kind of “Flash Gordon” sort of way, we get a kick out of the simplicity and action. Many guys will argue there’s a lot of depth to “Star Wars”- that may or may not be true, but it seems to mainly boil back down to the idea of the genre being fun for the sake of fun.

4. And the “bro hug”? Hug it out or don’t hug it out, you know?

As I’ll also note below, men do not like to touch each other, mainly because inter-male affection is frowned upon in most Western societies. In India and many other countries, this is very different- but you get what your culture has borne, and in this case, it’s a strong sense of personal space between members of the male sex. Would you much rather have us holding hands and hugging affectionately (as happens in the streets of India much more than it does between members of the opposite sex)? I think not.

5. When you keep one seat between you and your buddy at the movies, are you saving room for the holy spirit or what?

See the above. It also happens to give us more leg room and more arm room, which is ultimately more comfortable. If you ever take the time to look, most men sit fairly spread out, which is often cited as an attempt to be dominant and mark space. Females, trained to be relatively compact (both possibly as a sign of submission and also as a way to prevent showing panties in a skirt), do not do this.

6. Why are you so hung up on the bitchy girls?

Why are you so hung up on bitchy guys? The answer is simple: no-one likes problematic people, regardless of gender.

7. If you want to break up with us, why don’t you say so?

I’m not entirely sure where this question comes from (smacks of some angry female author making an article about an ex-boyfriend or something), but the general answer to this is just as complex as with girls: a lot of reasons. Some guys like the sex. Some don’t know how to safely break it off. Some don’t know if they want to break it off themselves. It’s always different and very hard to describe, and very dependent on the situation at hand.

8. Forget about putting the seat down, why don’t you ever change the toilet paper roll?

What kind of silly question is this? Guys are different. I have a good few male friends who actually get so semantic that they debate which way the toilet paper should be hung. If we’re making grandiose stereotypes, allow me to continue with them: we do it because the ever-present debate of toilet paper hanging has yet to be remedied.

9. Why do you ask for our number if you have no intention of calling?

There’s an insane amount of stigma attached to calling a girl, which some guys balk at. Additionally, some guys (myself included, at times) do not understand the proper protocol for certain number-givings. Merely deciding to call is hard enough- if you were vague in any way (or made appearances of being reluctant to give the number), often a guy will read that as a subtle sign and merely not call. In other cases, if you gave the number in a casual situation (i.e. in the sense of a club or meeting or business sort of thing), many guys will not call because they think it falls into the “box” of the aforementioned group, and that it would be rude to call. Even if they do decide to call and want to call, there is something rather intimidating about calling out of the blue for a date- try cold calling a male friend sometime.

10. Seriously, do you not smell that?

There’s actually some validity to the idea that men smell differently than women- but hey, let’s presume that we both do in a similar way. Pending that everything else is equal, everyone (regardless of gender, age, etc) has a very hard time smelling their own body odors after a while, mainly because they acclimate to the smell. Because of that, you too probably smell in some respects, no matter how much cleanser and perfume you may be wearing.

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6 Responses to Answering Frisky’s 10 Misunderstood things about Men

  1. anoros says:

    8. Doing that little bit of excersize to sit down. And I don’t just make sure, that an empty roll is replaced, but stack the emergency roll anew too.

  2. Philip says:

    Some of these guys you are describing are way too uncomfortable with their sexuality. Sitting apart at the movie theater? Frats.

  3. Jeff says:

    I pretty much like to sit apart in the theater for the reasons he mentioned. Leg room, having both arm rests, etc. My friends don’t like to however, and I usually end up uncomfortable during the movie. Makes it harder to enjoy.

  4. Jenx says:

    Ok one thing I still don’t get after all these years (perhaps it’s connected with me not being from the states, I dunno). WHAT THE FLIPPING HELL IS THE PROBLEM WITH TOILET SEATS?! Seriously, in every movie, cartoon, book, comic, newspaper strip, can label – everywhere someone makes a problem with the toilet seat being up/down. WHY? What is the big deal with the damn toilet seat? If it’s up – push it down. If it’s down – pull it up.

  5. Killraven says:

    5. As well as giving yourself and your buddy enough space to stretch out, the seat between you is also a space where you can both put your food and drink

  6. Juno says:

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