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Understand the Inner Workings of a Woman’s Mind: The Ultimate Guide

Written by Danielle, Monday, June 29th, 2015 in Dating Columns, Sex & Dating

When Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, a lot can get lost in translation. Unfortunately, this language barrier can cause a ricochet of unholy events and chaos in your relationship and life.

As a female, and one that is a bit more direct and much more to the point than my female peers, I have concocted what you can call the Holy Grail.

Understanding women is a complete misconception

First and foremost, stop trying to understand us. You will never actually understand them; it’s time to accept this fatal fact. The two of you will just come to an agreement, a common ground; a sort of intersection in this two way street; but you will never understand them, or what goes on 24/7 in their head. This is very important as men have been driven mad by the thoughts of trying to understand women. But, let me make it simple; in order to understand them you have to be one, and that requires much more than a sex change. We’re talking dumping hormones and estrogen into you all at once. Then let’s add the painful uterine walls shedding monthly, then the constant battle that we, ourselves, face internally– daily, and we have not even scratched the surface. So, in retrospect, it is so much easier and saner for you to just accept the fact that you will never understand the inner workings of a female; deal with it. We are complex, crazy, anal, and indecisive at times. Simultaneously, we are decisive, sweet, harsh, romantic, crude, and about a million other things; you know, just to keep it interesting. It doesn’t matter if you are with the most stable person ever; internally, we/they are a fucking roller coaster ride-train wreck just waiting to happen. So far, what you’ve learned is that we are crazy. This is good. This means you’re on the right track! But, if you ever tell any of us that we are crazy, we will go crazy and probably murder you in your sleep; so deal with it, internally. You see the goal is not find someone stable and sane and settle down with them, because they don’t exist. The goal is to find someone whose instability and mental chaos can somewhat match your own and kind of fuse both of your crazies together to see what understanding comes out.  This is really the key to a successful relationship; how much shit you can take. Relationships, marriages, courtships, hook-ups, you name it, they aren’t meant to be blissful. Anytime you have two people under one roof, or in one joined relationship, there will be arguing; it’s natural. If you are willing to have those epic yelling battles and those fist fights, then you know it’s worth it.

She doesn’t mean what she says8196193671_372b1e0757_z

     If she tells you that she doesn’t like flowers, she’s lying. She may not be a huge fan of them, but she wants them, or something similar. She wants to be reminded that you love her, constantly. And, she especially wants to know that you were thinking of her. While, sure, it’s great that you say it, if you happen to show up with flowers out of the blue, “just because” she will be speechless; and what guy doesn’t want his 24-hour chatterbox to shut up every once in a while? On the other hand, if it’s Valentine’s Day and you forget to get her flowers or chocolates and a card, don’t even bother trying to sleep on the couch. But at the same time, do. This is where I recall to you that we are indecisive yet decisive at the same time. We know that we are pissed at you for not doing anything special for us for Valentine’s Day, and we don’t want to share a bed with you, but we still want you to want to be there. We want you to beg and plead and apologize and try to make it better. So, if you forget the flowers and are ready to check into a hotel room in order to avoid the harsh, bitterness of your partner, think again! We actually want you there, we want you to stay. Women never say precisely-exactly what they mean. It’s uncanny how much we expect from you, yet don’t actually tell you full on what we expect. I do it too.

 Learn to read between the lines.

If you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are you have learned certain “tells” about your partner. You need those tells! Trust me! These are the things that will actually save you. If you know your partner, and I mean if you’re still with them I would certainly hope you did, then you know their specific tells. Each person is different and each woman is a little bit crazier than the other. By knowing their ‘tells’ and using them to read in between the lines, you will save your sanity. If she rolls her eyes when she’s irritated, or is less her normal-self one day, notice it and take precaution….otherwise, you may have to take cover.

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