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Dating Guides

Written by Mr. WellCultured, Friday, September 25th, 2009 in Q&As

You always talk about how pickup guides are bad, but they always work I use them all the time. Why hate them if they work?

Because the reason they work has very little to do with the actual content- in my opinion, it’s about 75% placebo effect, 25% general knowledge that can be found anywhere. Allow me to explain.

The main reason why dating guides “work” has very little to do with their execution- if you want to get somewhat theoretical, these books work for the very reason why people seem to think praying (be it traditional Judeo-Christian prayer or stuff like the Heart Sutra) works. In the act of reading these books, guys do not become inherently better “pick-up artists”, nor do they magically become better looking or better lovers. Rather, the effect is largely mental: because they believe they have become better, they are more likely to go out and try (and develop self-confidence regardless of execution), which means their chances become exponentially better. If you could convince the person enough, you could do the very same thing with a charm, a “special” cologne, or some other ridiculous placebo: if the person honestly believes it and it makes them feel good, it has the same result.

Another way in which they “work” independent of content is that sometimes they provide general knowledge that you need to have- that is, a general concept of social mores and the like. While I’m not saying “Double your Dating” is anything close to educational, what such books do is give you an idea of what to expect and what some people have succeeded with. In some cases, some of this information could be very valid- that is to say, eventually, in some specific very limited situation, the information could be entirely valid and useful.

Still, I don’t advise buying them or even reading them- I have (for a previous article), and I regret the time wasted. Develop your confidence and knowledge in a more realistic way- throw yourself into foreign situations and work your way around them without having to have some silly fratboy-crafted bible as your guide. That’s much more natural and wholly more realistic.

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