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Rejecting women out of your league

Written by admin, Saturday, November 22nd, 2008 in Q&As

Tonight I had propositions from two women for one night stands, both of which I rejected. One was a buaetiful girl who I barely knew, but sugested we know each other better in a private place. The other was a cute art student who offered me a night in her bed, as opposed to walking an hour in the rain home. There must be something wrong with me to reject these offers. This should have been a dream come true. What’s wrong with me?

My guess? Burnout, with a little bit of worry.

First off, burnout.burnout, to me, is when a guy exhausts himself of interest in anything- but in this case, specifically women. Yes, you can get very bored of sex and dating, and it happens too often when you go overboard and date too much, or just when you have so much of it that it ceases to be special. This happens to me occasionally- you get so many girls you can date that dating seems ridiculously easy, the challenge is gone, and thus the desire is gone.

The cure for burnout is to simply scale yourself back a bit. If you’re dating (or screwing) a lot, try to restrict yourself a bit more. Make the experiences more special and unique. Don’t date more than two girls a week, and don’t date them back-to-back or whatever. Avoid gorging yourself on easy sex or quick dates- it will make them all blur into one another, making them boring.

Second off, worry. You may, consciously or subconsciously, be worried or insecure about your abilities, sexually or not. This happens to guys more than you think- if they are clearly out of your league, you worry that you won’t be able to meet their expectations or that you are being tricked- two little nagging questions in your head that can make you pass on offers, quiet, and worst of all, ineffectual in bed.

The answer, of course, is to remind yourself that if a girl so clearly is going after you, she has long since judged you worthy. Unless she’s some sort of desperate uberslut (doubtful), she has already warmed up to your enough, and it is very unlikely you will be able to screw it up easily. Most (normal) girls don’t judge a guy in bed- they judge way before, and you have long since passed such testing. All you have to do is reaffirm her beliefs. And it isn’t hard to do.

As a side note to all of this, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with not screwing every girl in sight. Religion aside, you don’t have to have sex just because you can, being male be damned. Avoid the stereotype of being led around by your dick- that’s how a lot of girls think they can control you. Be as choosy as they are and enjoy that ability.

As a second side note, are you sure they were speaking sexually? Some girls totally expect you to be able to sleep in their bed without sex. Difficult as hell, or so I’ve heard.

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3 Responses to Rejecting women out of your league

  1. AndYouWillNOU says:

    Shouldn’t this guy be writing for us?! That much luck with getting the girls attracted would surely be a benefit.

  2. Tyciol says:

    This is a nice writeup. Some girls do judge by sex, but most are willing to give it another go. Maybe they won’t want to marry you if you can’t eventually please them but in that case they’d probably make an okay friend at least.

  3. Very good advice. Also most women when it comes to sex will actually tell you, verbally or nonverbally, exactly what they want and how they want it. Great site…where’s your RSS reader?

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