Wellcultured - Well Cultured is a men’s online magazine with advice and reviews on fashion, dating, finances, health, music, movies and many other topics, as well as a robust message board and the Well Cultured Guide, a freely editable community wiki.

I’ve recently been getting a lot of e-mails regarding online dating- be it just for fun or seriously. The problem is, much like the real dating realm, it is often hard to sift through the copious amounts of fake profiles, duplicates, and generally dangerous girls to find the ones really worth dating. With that in mind, I often have been asked to help identify “problem girls”- as silly as that sounds- and I’ve decided to help as much as I can. In this article, I’m going to go through 8 of the most common stereotypical “problem” girls I have seen, both by people sending me things, and by personal experience offline, and I’m going to try to not only explain how to identify them, but why you need to avoid them- so you can actually find the girl of your dreams, not a 40 year old guy from Toronto trying to trick you into sending him money.

DISCLAIMER: Before we get into this, I know I’m going to get hate mail. I am not trying to be misogynistic here, nor am I trying to attack girls with histories of problems, mental disease, or anything of the sort. Nonetheless, it needs to be understood that there are often gross generalizations that can be made about the caliber of girls that, in my limited career, I have seen cause trouble. Don’t send me angry e-mails.

8. The Trap

“Hey looking for a guy who could help me like with my bills and stuff I am not a complicated girl not expensive just want help in little areas so if you think you fit the bill and want to be friends with benefit that is fine hit me up”

Common Signs: Model-quality photographs, exceptionally terse information, rampant Africa-style misspellings, etc.

The Details: This goes without saying. If it looks fake, it probably is fake. There are a lot of people who, particularly on free sites, hunt around to harass desperate men and women and/or advertise to them- be on the lookout. Remember, the person doesn’t have to be explicitly fake for quite some time- the ‘trap’ could involve a really dedicated homosexual guy trying to find straight guys or any variety of other problems. Hell, there are some entirely legitimate girls looking to pin you on rape charges. Be careful.

How to Handle: Obviously, avoid. For very good reasons.

7. The Insane

“I used to cut myself, but now I take medication, though when I take it, it makes me feel dull.”

Common Signs: Wildly strange interests, any mention of suicide (at all), rampant obsessive behavior, mentioning therapy, etc.

The Details: Insane girls collect online fairly quickly, and thanks to careful editing, they can often seem fairly normal, at least on a superficial level. Unfortunately, the quickest way to find out if a girl truly has mental issues is to actually talk to her more- so you’re always in trouble. Common signs generally include strange fetishes and interests (a sexual interest in knives, for example), clear indications of personal/professional restraint (never finishing highschool for unstated reasons, not being able to hold a job), and general “strangeness”- trust me, it’s easier to see online than you may think.

How to Handle: Handle carefully. If her problems are mere eccentricities, or something you can empathize with, you may be able to deal with it- but don’t become a social-worker-slash-boyfriend. If you even have the remotest idea that there might be a problem, just don’t even try. There are many instances (of both girls and “insane” guys) using suicide or other drastic methods to keep people in relationships.

6. The Druggie

“Doing [mushrooms] was an eye-opening experience, and I try to do it as much as possible. It makes me a smarter person.”

Common Signs: Open admission of Marijuana use, mentions of therapy, talking about going on a “new path” in life, dropping hints about no longer being a “heavy partier”.

The Details: Druggies are hard to deal with. There’s nothing wrong with someone who is clean- however, as sad as it may be, very few actually become 100% clean, and many still retain vestiges of past abuse. You may even get the (dubious) honor of meeting a girl who is a current druggie- I’ve personally gone out on a date with a girl who began talking about her “absolute adoration of ‘shrooms and harder drugs”. From my (admittedly limited) experience with girls of this caliber, they often fall into one of two categories- obsessive personality types (that is, those who easily fall into addiction with something or other) and those who, for various (bad) social reasons, fall into drugs. Either way, there are a lot of problems going on, and clearly, most of them could land someone in jail.

How to Handle: Stay away from these types. You could easily get dragged into the habit, or otherwise implicated- even legally. Let these girls crash and burn on their own time.

5. The Dominatrix

“LOSER MEN DO NOT CONTACT ME. I know I’m good looking. If you think I’d think you are interesting, just try me.”

Common Signs: Excessively harsh commentary, demanding requests, blatant misandry, etc.

The Details: I like to use the term “Dominatrix”, at least in a colloquial sense, to describe women who are so demanding (or so angry after being browbeaten by bad boyfriends) that they become excessively demanding and problematic, often to the point of being annoying and skeptical. For some odd reason, this seems to be blown far out of proportion online, where girls often will presume (needlessly) that all of the men on the site are desperate, and somehow they are a desperately desired commodity to be essentially begged for.

How to Handle: I personally avoid them, but you could possibly tame them. For the most part, girls like this become this way as a defense mechanism, presuming men will exploit them. If you are legitimate enough, you may succeed. Still, most are not worth the time nor the effort.

4. The Lowered Standards

“I’m looking for a long-term relationship. I’m a wonderful person. Please date me! I’m awesome! I really am! I haven’t gone on a date in years and I really want to! I’ll give you sex!”

Common Signs: Desperation dripping from every paragraph.

The Details: Girls like this are arguably the most common on dating sites, and oft the most overlooked. Those with extremely lowered standards are those that- for legitimate or merely psychological reasons- feel that they do not make the “cut” for a normal man, and begin to search for some sort of surrogate alternative. Many morbidly obese women, as you may guess, fall into this category.

How to Handle: Be careful. Girls like this oftentimes decide, independent of your actual worth, to simply take whatever comes their way. Do not get wrapped up in what you perceive to be a good relationship.

3. The Slut

“Who wants 2 hook up 2nite?”

Common Signs: Nude photos, nearly nude photos, sexual innuendo, any kind of references to sex.

The Details: The name says it all. Sluts are the kinds of girls who are essentially wallowing in their own libido, often to the point of being sexually involved with any man that seems “hot”. As you can probably imagine, this oftentimes results in the spread of STDs and other nastiness you don’t want to be involved in. Even outside of the potential for diseases, girls of this caliber often have major (Daddy) issues, which spawn a lot of their promiscuity.

How to Handle: Despite how attractive/available she may be, avoid these girls like the plague, mainly because they could very well be carrying the plague.

2. The “Broken”

“I had an abortion in the past with my ex-boyfriend I used to live with back when we were engaged and about to go to grad school”

Common Signs: Desperation, excessive secrecy, questionable circumstances, obvious perceptions of themselves as “broken”.

The Details: Girls who perceive themselves to be “broken” are very dangerous to be dating. On one hand, much like “The Lowered Standards”, they grasp for anything available to them, perceiving internal failure- be it some sort of physical defect, mental defect, emotional problem, you name it. The problem with this is often not the problem itself, but rather the methodology: the girls quickly develop complexes, and use it to foster incredibly unhealthy relationships based on desperation. The nature of their “brokenness” varies from girl to girl, but it oftentimes has a lot to do with prior dating- be it a prior pregnancy, some STD, a rape, or the like.

How to Handle: Be incredibly careful. If she seems too good to be true, she probably is. Everyone has secrets, but hers may not be something you want to handle. These girls can be amazing, so don’t write them off, but understand that their reasons for dating may be less than normal.

1. The Ticking Timebomb

“I really love kids! I’m a teacher and I adore babies! I really want to be a mommy someday. I really want to be a stay-at-home mom and have my husband work. I love babysitting!”

Common Signs: Any mention of liking children obsessively, mentions of babies, adoration of being a “wife” in the future, etc.

The Details: These girls are ticking timebombs in every sense of the word. Typically at a certain age (as early as 18, which is scary), girls suddenly get “the urge”- that is, they want a kid, and they want it now. Quite a bit of this is hormonal, other parts of it sociocultural, but all of it is dangerous. Girls like this typically let this obsession fester into a number of unhealthy activities, which generally manifest themselves online in the way of rampant manhunting. Girls like this are prone to being oddly openly sexual, laser-focused on marriage, and incessantly focused on family-related topics- even things like introducing you to her parents.

How to Handle: Run away.

Too many guys know about managing their health too late. It’s not uncommon for me to recieve e-mails with questions begging for advice on how to lose a beer gut- or worse, how to deal with dieting after getting diabetes due to bad “gamer” eating habits caught up with them.

Let’s cut the crap for a second. Unlike what fast food commercials and bad American sitcoms would like you to believe, real men are healthy, and they proactively work towards being healthy. Real men do not need a triple-stacked hamburger with extra cheese to be men (because apparently in the world of Hardees, “Man” and “Heart Attack” are synonymous). Sure, we all like good food now and then- but too many guys are buying the concept of health stoicism so much, they end up regretting it later in life.

So let’s cut that out right now. In this article, I’m going to address the very basics of keeping healthy- things you absolutely need to know right now about eating, exercise, and even a little bit of sexual health. You don’t really know how little you know until you think about it.

Fact 1: You need to be eating healthy right now.

Metabolism be damned. I don’t care if you can eat raw lard and stay skinny: eating healthy is going to pay back both now and in the future. Sodas, while extremely tasty, should be sparingly drank, as with alcohol and any other high sugar drinks (this includes Vitamin Water). You do not need a plate loaded with food- eating smaller portions more often is better for your metabolism and it gives you more energy. Junk food (chips, candy, and virtually anything else you can imagine a fat trucker eating) should be eaten sparingly. No-one’s saying you can’t have a good old burger every once in a while- but when you eat them regularly, you WILL get fat- even if right now you aren’t visibly packing on the pounds.

One point about this: once you lose a battle, you do not lose the war. All of us have had days where we have chugged 30 sodas or consumed two boxes of Krispy Kreme- this does not mean you must give up on your diet plan. One of the best dieting plans I have ever heard (which was written in an ancient book about weight training) was simple: eat healthy 6 days of the week, and give yourself a reward on the seventh. Even if you can go all seven days healthily, don’t consider it the end of the world if you eat poorly: just get back on track ASAP.

Fact 2: You need to be exercising right now.

One of my biggest gripes as of recent is that many guys think that “healthy” is the same as “as skinny as humanly possible”. This is not true. Being skinny or underweight does not mean that you are exempt from exercising- exercising is for everyone, no matter what. You should be doing a balanced exercise routine at LEAST twice a week to maintain body health- the effects will be easily noticeable when you begin. Fat or thin, muscular or weak, you need to have a good weight lifting/cardio/stretching routine- not to “get buff” or “get thin”, but just to stay healthy. We will have articles on how to get muscular- but right now, just accept that even if you want to keep a skinny weakling body type (for whatever strange reason you may have), you still need to be pumping some iron, just not 300lbs.

Fact 3: You need to be sleeping better.

I soundlike a hypocrite saying this with my late nights often spent writing articles for Well Cultured, but you need to get more sleep. Sleep is the glue that holds everything together- and trust me, going without will destroy you in ways you cannot even imagine. The lack of sleep will lead to poor mental performance, poor physical performance (this includes sex), and overall poor hygeine. Consequently, oversleeping will make you sluggish and lazy, and in some rare cases (like if you sleep after eating), it can even contribute to weight gain.

Fact 4: Stop masturbating so much.

This doesn’t need to be said in more detail than this: overdoing anything will have bad consequences. While you’re certainly not going to grow hair on your palms, you can easily desensitize yourself, both physically and mentally.

Fact 5: Your skin needs to be treated too.

As I’ve said on here before, I am 110% against makeup of all kinds for men (for women, it is good and sometimes desperately needed). Still, that doesn’t mean you don’t keep care of your skin. If you have acne, purchase a good cleansing solution and use it correctly. If acne is not a problem, make sure to rub some lotion on your hands/face/wherever fairly often. This will not give you skin “like a woman”- rather, it will just keep it from getting nasty.

Also, I’m going to basically send a big middle finger to the paranoid people out there. Get a tan. For most of us pitiful Anglo-Saxons, we are much paler than we think we are- and trust me, even the “pale” actors/models have at least a base tan at all times. Don’t go oompa-loompa orange- just get yourself a bit of sun. It will look (and feel) healthy. Trust me, humans crawled outside for hundreds of years under the sun, going out to the beach once in a while is not going to give you skin cancer- put on some sunscreen and just enjoy it.

Fact 6: Treat your hair right.

Excessive hair abuse (or hair neglect) will make you look stupid. Wash your hair often and this will not be a problem. Don’t get excessive hair coloring done or obsess over heavy product (the more firm the gel, the more your hair is abused, really). While this shouldn’t apply to most of our readers, don’t nuke your hair or do anything crazy- trust me, for some of us, we won’t have that hair forever.

That being said, the second you begin to go bald, go to a good stylist and have her work with it, or just shave it bald. Bald is confident. Combovers are not.

Fact 7: Wear good clothing.

This applies to shoes more than anything else. Wear shoes that feel good and let your feet breathe and walk naturally- avoid wearing sandals or other poorly fitted shoes. Many good shoe stores will now assist you with finding your “fit”, and make getting shoes that feel comfortable and let your feet breathe a breeze.

Also, with general clothing, NEVER go too tight. Fitted is good, skin-tight, blood-vessel-constricting wear is not. I am not kidding when I have heard horror stories about what happens to your package when you wear tight “girl jeans”. Avoid that for your future children, or even just your future sex life.

Fact 8: Shave like you mean it.

When you shave, shave well- don’t just go over your face quickly with no shaving gel, you will get ingrown hairs (and in many cases, cut yourself). Make shaving a pleasant ritual- it’s generally best to do so after showering. Use warm water, lather up with a good shaving cream, and follow the grain of the hair as best you can. Your face will thank you.

Fact 9: Have good posture.

Good posture is confidence. I’m not kidding. Not only does good posture keep you from having to go to a chiropractor later in your life, but good posture projects confidence and strength- so it’s a damn important thing for both your social and physical health.

Okay, let’s do a test right now. If you are sitting down right now, check your posture. Are you leaning back far into the chair, hunched back, or somehow sliding down the chair? Then you have bad posture. While most of us geek types have devised some interesting ways to get comfortable in computer chairs (or beds, or whatever), it’s not good for the back, or even your arms/wrists as you twist and contort to type.

Similarly, even your stance while walking is a factor in good posture. Keep your shoulders back, eyes out, and avoid slouching. The era of the “teen geek slouch” with your hands jammed into your pockets and your eyes at the floor is over. Walk around like you own the floor you stand on.

Fact 10: Keep good mental health.

As silly as this sounds, your physical body also reacts to your mental health. Be it trying to jog a mile or make love to a beautiful woman, if you don’t have good mental health, you won’t have good physical health no matter how hard you try. Keep studying, reading, writing, meeting new people, and keep yourself mentally healthy overall, and you will have a much better time with any of the facts above, bar none. If you are depressed, there is no way in hell you will perform to the top of your abilities: so sort out mental issues with the same fervor you do physical ones. Trust me, it helps.

---

One important thing about this list is that it is not in any order- everything I’m telling you is important in it’s own way. While it seems daunting to see such a list full of requirements and demands, trust me- things like these become natural, and doing things like exercising and eating healthy become so commonplace that you’ll forget you ever ate poorly. Focus on each item individually, and eventually your future self will thank you.