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Virtual Wives: Adultery or Not?

Written by Mr. WellCultured, Saturday, June 7th, 2008 in Sex & Dating, Sex Q&A

This was asked of me some time ago, so I should probably answer it now.

Is fantasy online dating, like on Everquest, cheating?

This probably comes as a result of an article in the Wall Street Journal, debating Second Life marriages. I personally have no idea what the hell has possessed the WSJ and MSNBC to give so much attention to Second Life over the last few years, but I digress- to the question.

The answer is yes, it is cheating. Here’s why.

First off, let’s cut the bull. Ivory tower PhDs in the social sciences rarely understand the “real” face of the internet, mainly because they do it from such a stand-offish perspective. When articles like the WSJ article above pitifully try to grasp at the idea of “popular” MMORPGs, they tend to lose focus on a lot of the little eccentricities of the online realm. That being said, let me speak from not only a column writer, but someone who has played a ton of games- and MMORPGs- in his lifetime.

Games like There are not just blank fantasy. Reading the WSJ article above, it’s clear that they picked a somewhat extreme example- but it’s nonetheless fairly accurate. No matter how you spin it, games like Second Life are taken seriously by a huge number of participants, often to the point of obsession. It’s stupid to act as if this kind of stuff isn’t real, and even worse to pretend that players don’t get seriously involved in it.

In any case, I think it is. If you have a girlfriend, I know the fun of MMORPGs is often based on social interaction, but nonetheless, real life fidelity trumps online crap. Hell, virtual sex online is lame anyway, the real stuff is much better.


As will be the standard for all Sex Q&A articles, we encourage you to comment below- give us your opinion on the situation. Is fantasy online dating cheating?

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8 Responses to Virtual Wives: Adultery or Not?

  1. PoisonedV says:

    What is the point of online dating or in game dating anyway? I mean, its bad enough to be playing an MMORPG in the first place, but then you let it take the place of a girl? Jesus christ.

  2. OBO says:

    It is only cheating if a)your gf/wife thinks its cheating or b)you’re hiding it from her.

  3. macrotis says:

    I really have to disagree on this one.

    People have to realize that MMORPGs ARE NOT REAL.
    It’s well known that some people get to the point of obsession, but games like Second Life are not meant to replace life itself.
    Taking any MMORPG that seriously is just stupid.

  4. Alternate says:

    @macrotis:

    But you have to realize, alot of internetkind really is stupid.

    I think its dependent on who it is. I mean, sure there are people who do it just for the interaction, and it can’t really be taken as cheating because they don’t take it seriously. However, if you really take the internet as serious business and then get a SL Wife, then yes, it should be cheating. However, if you’re really that much of a loser, how is it you have a girlfriend IRL in the first place. Riddle me that, riddler.

  5. catnip says:

    Meh, I have an online wife, but we don’t take the relationship seriously…

  6. Emerald says:

    I think its virtual cheating but not real adultery. My husband knows I play SL but he’s very cool about it (although to be fair he doesn’t know what I get up to!) but its just escapism.

  7. Tyciol says:

    Well poisoned, it can be enjoyable to flirt with people? It doesn’t necessarily ‘take the place’ of a girlfriend if you do it in addition to having one, or do it when you otherwise wouldn’t have one anyway. It’s not ‘bad’ to play an MMO if you enjoy it and it isn’t mindlessly repetetive.

  8. Deedee smith says:

    The only people who feel it doesn’t hurt anything are the people engaged in playing the game. The whole lingo of sl is entitlement to enjoyment and unlimited fantasy. However people on sl still crave the realness of human interaction.

    Search the web for sl blogs…words like you deserve your fantasy. It isn’t real are splashed all over. There has been forgotten in sl that human beings don’t work like that….lying erodes trust.

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