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The Super-Popular Girl

Written by admin, Saturday, August 29th, 2009 in Q&As

I found this girl who is really awesome, but she has a lot of guy friends. I think she’s really cool until her guys come over and then it’s not really easy to talk to her. She always talks about other guys, and I can’t get an “in”. What do I do?

You’ve probably run into a type of girl who, for the lack of a better term, I will term the “Histrionic Type”.

Histrionic girls are girls that are generally heavily attention-seeking, friend-making, and seem to have a kind of hyper-attention to social status. Most people describe girls like this as “social” and “fun”, and they tend to get really high prestige in their “worlds”- some may be sorority presidents, others might be just group leaders. On one hand, this is a very good thing- being good at social situations allows them to be really amicable, fun, and wholly enjoyable in many senses, and you can really feed off their energy. However, there’s a caveat- romantically, girls like this are arguably the hardest to get.

My general recommendation here is to tread lightly- you probably don’t want to deal with this kind of situation. The immediate issue is evident: as most girls like this have a lot of guy friends (they sometimes have more guy friends than girl friends- there are many reasons, I often find it correlates with a lack of fatherly involvement, but whatever), and trying to compete with every single one of them (who probably want her just as much) is incredibly difficult.

Long story short, if you do want to go for her, find a way to make yourself different. It will be arduous, but I’m sure you can come up with something. Remember, you’re facing off against a lot of guys she probably has with her who want her just like you do- I’d be careful.

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2 Responses to The Super-Popular Girl

  1. Joshua says:

    Also something to keep in mind, dressing differently or buying a different accessory is not enough. Plenty of people have hundreds of different styles. In addition, if you go out to buy expensive clothes, don’t forget if you are playing with a popular girl, more than likely they are popular guys, which means money. Something that I found works. Is find times when she isn’t doing anything, maybe a time she is tired. Go “kidnap” her for little fun dates, make it a little obvious of your intentions, don’t let her assume that all you want is the friend zone. If it still doesn’t work after this. More than likely it is an issue inside herself and not with you. However don’t confuse lack of trying with a bad girl. Really give it your all before you assume she is disfunctional.

  2. no says:

    The correct answer that should have been given here is:

    Even if girls see relationships as platonic, the guys don’t. For the most part guys are only friends with girls that — now or later or just off in their distant dark imagination — are girls they would hook up with if it was offered. They’re just waiting for the time for it to happen. So, first, you have instant constant competition, whether or not you “have her”.

    Second, girls like that are interested in certain types of guys that they’ll throw themselves at and the rest of the guys in their life — probably guys like you in this situation — are the guys she strings along for companionship, someone to whine about life to, someone to talk about her relationships with, and someone to get free meals or plenty of attention from.

    And then when you push the issue of “we should go further”, she’ll drop the brick wall “but I like you just as a friend and don’t want to ruin it” line. That’s the instant defense that you can’t get around and what it REALLY means is “I like having you here to shower me with attention and buy me things and follow me around like a puppy dog to boost my ego, but I wouldn’t touch your penis with a ten foot pole, so let’s *just be friends*”.

    … Because the guys she DOES want to be more than friends with don’t have to push the issue. They probably don’t have to buy her things or pay for dinner, either. They just have to pay some attention to her and show up with a rubber at the right time.

    So, in short, don’t get all bent out of shape over her and don’t make a jack ass of yourself. Man-up, find a girl that doesn’t need a stable of guys around her at all times and likes you. Otherwise you’re just volunteering yourself as a poindexter. You’ll be the guy that she goes out to dinner with at 8:00 PM and leaves you with the bill when she runs to the bathroom and gets a text message or phone call from the OTHER guy that she’s actually going to bang by 10:00 PM after you’ve already paid for her free meal.

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