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Rejected by a tough date

Written by admin, Friday, May 1st, 2009 in Q&As

I was at a speed date function last week and I was chewed out by some woman who I thought looked really awesome. I’m a normal guy and everyone else seemed to like me!!! What did I do wrong????

One of two things could have happened here: either you’re in the very poor position of being inadvertently repulsive for some reason, or you ran into what I can only describe as a human harpy.

First of all, when you have warning signs emerge that you are a generally bad person or you are somehow repulsive (like if you get massively stiffed at a speed dating thing), the best thing to do is go to your friends (especially female friends) and ask them honestly what issues you may have. Don’t do it in a confronting or assuming way- be open to change. No-one’s perfect- and virtually anyone, from the best guy around to the lowliest basement dweller, has negative points they need to work on. Have someone identify them for you, and genuinely work on them- self-improvement is always a good plan.

However, I’m more inclined to say you ran into what I jokingly (and somewhat offensively, even I’ll admit) call a harpy- which is a reference to Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing reference, where Benedick says he’d rather do anything than “-rather than hold three words conference with this harpy!”. In a more direct sense, harpies are  the kind of women who seem to endlessly troll around dating websites/groups/clubs/whatevers, bitching about their lack of men, but doing everything in their power personality and looks wise to drive men away from them. It’s a nasty circular effect- the women complain about not having men, go to stuff like speed dates, scare off all the men, go home and whine about the lack of “good men” or “interesting men”, feel their biological clock ticking, then go out and find more clubs to go to.

Of course, as you can probably guess, my advice is going to be to ignore these women. You likely will never win. Most of them spiral into a nasty princess complex that makes them believe they should put no work into a relationship (or that they should be treated like god), which invariably makes for horrible relationships. Ignore them and move on- don’t let them bother you.

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One Response to Rejected by a tough date

  1. Yum22Yum23 says:

    Somehow your idea of harpies remind me of the same circular bitching encountered with the “nice guy syndrome”. Except, instead of doing everything to ruin it, nice guys do everything to be nice, which is invariably too much, and ends up with the opposite effect.

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