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When to kiss a date?

Written by admin, Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 in Q&As

I’ve had two successful, laid-back dates with a great girl. After the second one, I walked her up to her porch, but didn’t make a move to kiss her. It felt like I missed a chance – I was getting a good vibe from her. Was I too timid? Should I definitely make a move next time (providing it feels right)?

This is one of those really really really tough questions.

Short answer? There is no way to determine when you should kiss. It’s a spur-of-the-moment thing.

Long answer? There isn’t a way to determine when you should kiss, mainly because every girl is different, especially when it comes to stuff like this. Some girls (the more reserved ones, mainly) tend to have a general idea of a number of dates or “time” when it is right- some girls don’t kiss (or screw, for some) before the third date, others do. This also compounds when you take into consideration that she might just not be feeling it, or she may BE feeling it and you just don’t- something like that.

My advice? Go for it, but try to read in beforehand. Is she responsive and close to you? Girls who stay far away from you (i.e. don’t touch you, don’t stay near you while walking, are afraid of grazing against you) are not going to want to be kissed- at least, not too quickly. However, if she’s displaying obvious signs of attraction (lingering, looking at you, not carrying an extreme sense of personal space), you can go for it.

Yes, this is difficult. Everyone has this trouble. I’m not the type to advise asking beforehand (for some, it may be cute, for others, it may be creepy), but just try to be careful and do it right. And make it unexpected, too, that’s always fun for them.

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3 Responses to When to kiss a date?

  1. Eric says:

    Is it weird that I have sex on the third date? lol A kiss usually happens on the first and making out on the second. Though not that many of my relationships last more than a month… Of course, I’m also dating guys, so… I guess we have different expectations.

  2. Anonymous says:

    i found with my current gf that if you are…whats the word …unique i suppose with the action…it works well. She and I were in the theatre on our first date and i had my arm around her and shes quite ticklish and i tickled her a bit and she said “no tickles haha” and i said “no tickling??…how bout a kiss then ? ” and she turned to me and smiled and i leaned in and kissed her…sometimes you have to be ‘aww’-like to get things done

  3. Tyciol says:

    Has the OP at least hugged yet? Usually there are other types of things, like hugging, leaning on each other, arm over shoulder, etc which precede kissing which are good signs for proceding.

    Eric… ‘weird’ is relative, homosexuality itself is weird because it’s abnormal, as in, the majority of people are heterosexual, and homosexual is what, 10-20% or something? Either way, don’t use ‘weird’ like it’s something negative, it’s only a variation.

    I have to admit… I did manage to get on the first date 2/3 times so difficulties vary on the type of girl it is and what’s drawing you to each other. You can get a kiss earlier when it’s about both parties being horny and stuff, but things based on that don’t always turn out so well. You might decide not to procede because you feel guilty about not having any sort of real connection.

    I think it’s better to go slow, even if you have trouble kissing to begin with, if you’re really connecting on other means then it can end up being better in the long run. Just as long as you keep it romantic and don’t get TOO casual or else the magic is lost and it’s that ‘friendzone’ thing people complain about (though I don’t think that’s permanent…) I like anon’s idea with the tickling.

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