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Why the Fat Guy gets the Girl

Written by Mr. WellCultured, Monday, September 6th, 2010 in Q&As

Why is my fat, ugly, stupid friend getting all the girls when I can’t get a single one?

The problem is simple: you’re looking at things from the wrong perspective.

A common issue that many guys (especially techy guys) have is that they tend to look at relationships in terms of numbers and statistics, like dating is a big RPG or accounting sheet. They measure things that they find important — looks, style, athleticism, intelligence, etc — and tend to consider these reflective of someone’s “dateability”. Most guys will judge themselves in this matter, and then get really pissed off when some guy they consider “lower” than them on their own arbitrary scale gets to date a very attractive/interesting girl. Incidentally, when this happens, a lot of guys tend to blame it on money — “she’s a gold digger”, “he must be loaded”, etc.

The problem is, the world isn’t quite that logical, and for every one measurable “stat”, there are about a hundred intangible ones.

Take, for example, your friend. While he may fail in every way you can measure him, something else about him (such as a tweak of his personality, etc) may endear him to certain girls. He may be ridiculously similar to an old boyfriend of theirs from college. He may have had the luck of being in the right place at the right time. The girl may be specifically attracted to “fixer” guys. He may have personality traits you cannot detect but she adores. Numerous small factors play into his ability to date a girl, even if you may not be able to identify/quantify them.

Don’t worry if some good looking girl gets a loser guy — she may not be exactly worth your time. Just because the girl happens to be attractive does not mean she is worth your time or effort — remember, she may be a loser in many respects as well. Just like some guys can be really good looking and complete losers, lots of girls can be ridiculously hot and still completely worthless.

So the long story short? Calm down. Don’t concern yourself with who/what other people are dating. Focus on improving yourself and be more social.

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