Wellcultured - Well Cultured is a men’s online magazine with advice and reviews on fashion, dating, finances, health, music, movies and many other topics, as well as a robust message board and the Well Cultured Guide, a freely editable community wiki.

I have been slowly losing my hair for awhile now. I am wondering if I should just use this beard trimmer I have to keep it buzzed short instead of wasting time and money at a barber/salon every month. Is this a good idea?

Yes, it’s not a terrible idea at all.

If you’re keeping your hair short like that (especially if you are buzzing it), there is really absolutely no reason to pay a barber or salon — buzzing it on your own is just as good. So long as you can be diligent and cut everywhere fairly evenly, there should be no issue whatsoever. If you are losing your hair, just remember to keep the other hair short — that way, the disparity won’t be as jarring, and the cut will look a lot better. Other than that, have at!

Lots of my friends are telling me I should cut my shoulder-length hair before I go looking for a job. Is it that big of a deal?

Pretty much, yes.

In very few fields are you offered the opportunity to look however you want at an entry level position. If you are an artist or some other person in a creative field, you will likely have a lot more freedom as to how you dress. However, unquestionably, if you want to play in other fields — in business, finance, law, real estate, even retail positions — you’re going to have to look relatively normal and conservative. Until you are valuable enough to the world enough where people from your field would hire you if you wandered in without showering wearing stained pajamas, you should accept the fact that you need to play by the “rules” and fit into the mold a bit. As stupid as it is, most people in managerial positions — that is, typically, those over 30 — look down on long hair and other more relaxed looks, as such styles are typically associated with laziness and childishness.

Complain about it all you want, but it’s the truth. On a more aesthetic side, very very few men look good with long hair, and those same men typically look a bit better with shorter hair — you’ll probably improve your looks much more than you think.

That being said, unless you are the next Picasso, cut your hair. The “I want to be original with my hair” battle should not be fought to the detriment of your employ-ability during a recession.

My friends and I might plan to grow out beards in 2010. Is this fashionable?

Well, not really.

The important thing to understand about beards is that they are very very stereotypically a thing for elderly men- that is to say, men over 40 or so. They do indeed have a dignity of sorts to them, but part of it comes merely from the group of men they are associated with.

That being said, growing one out when young isn’t exactly the best thing to do, especially in the willy-nilly way many guys do. There’s nothing wrong with keeping facial hair if it frames your face nicely (which is a whole other topic)- the main issue is to keep a nice, groomed look. Most guys who do things like going without shaving for months end up looking just… messy.

So basically, if you do choose to do so, be very careful. Look around at celebrities and other people in the media and see what they do- oft, especially for more professional photos, celebrities keep their own facial hair rather nicely styled. Whatever you do, just don’t let it grow out pointlessly.

Up until just recently I had a 15″ ponytail. I recently cut it off and donated it to Locks of Love. Mostly because my new employer wouldn’t allow me to keep it. Now that my hair is a bit shorter, I don’t know what to do with it. It’s too short to pull back, but it’s long enough to get in the way of things. I’ve tried using gels to slick it back, but I hate the crusty and/or greasy feeling that they leave. I really don’t want to cut off the rest of it, but I don’t really know what else to do.

First off, congrats on getting it cut- most guys are hesitant to, but I guarantee you that you’ll look much better.

The problem here seems to be pretty fundamental- you got a structural haircut, but not a style one. Ideally, whenever you get a haircut, even with one removing a lot of hair, you should have a good stylist give you a cut that is functional. Without it, you run into the exact problem you’re having right now: having hair with nothing to do with it.

As for right now, I’d avoid gel and the like as much as possible. Gel, even with short hair, is beginning to really fall out of style, mainly because everyone is finally realizing how nasty it ends up being- it’s usually crusty, dirty, messy, and a big pain in the rear. If you were to use something, I’d generally recommend a wax or another more tacky, less “crusty” hair styling solution.

As silly as it may sound to go to the hairdresser so soon again, do it. As I recommend to most people looking for a haircut, go to a nice, popular place in a local major city, and tell them your trouble. If you find a good place, the stylist will be perfectly happy to not only get an idea of your hair (and what he/she can do with it), and they will be able to show you a selection of hairstyles that will work with your hair type, face shape, and everything else. You don’t necessarily have to get it cut shorter by any means- you just need to get it shaped, trimmed, and generally cleaned up.

Grooming is something of a funny topic for most heterosexual guys. On one hand, society frowns upon unwashed men who refuse to keep themselves clean and neat- and, at some sort of arbitrary line, critiques men who overdo it. This strange binary of normalcy-versus-”metrosexuality” is often a point of stress for most men trying to look better- and, as a result, I get a lot of e-mails on the topic. So, to allay fears and answer a whole lot of questions in one fell swoop, here you have it- a definitive guide on grooming.

Part 1: General Grooming

Body Cleaning

Obviously, the number one thing you need to do to keep your skin and body in general clean and healthy is to take good, cleansing showers. Unlike what most will indicate to you, the average man has very little use for expensive bath soaps or extensive scrubs- many of the things you find at a grocery store will be just as good, cheaper, and generally easier to use. If you can, begin your shower by shampooing your hair, then work your way down with a body scrub- this way, gravity pulls the dirt down, and thus you don’t end up messing up anything you cleaned before. Additionally, if you can stand it, start with warm water and end with cold water- the former opens up pores and brings blood to your skin, the latter closes your pores and forces the blood back to your organs, theoretically improving circulation.

A warning- yes, you can overdo showers. As a general rule, unless in a special situation, no more than two a day- and even then, consider forgoing extensive shampooing, unless you must. Excessive showering can dry your skin out and leave your hair lifeless- it takes away the natural oils you need.

Shaving

Shaving is best done immediately after a shower, or at least soon after, when your facial hair is still relatively soft and moisturized by the shower itself.

Begin by rubbing warm water on your face where you plan to shave. Grab your shaving lotion and apply- don’t do too much, especially with gel-style shaving cream, which often is best applied rather lightly. As best you can, take a clean razor and follow the “grain” (direction) of your facial hair, which will not only help prevent cutting yourself, but also provide a much more satisfying, closer shave. Afterwords, rinse your face and the razor, dry the razor (pending it’s a disposable- this helps them last longer- avoid tapping them on the side of the sink, it can screw up the blades), and then dry your face off with a clean towel.

There are many different things you can use during or after a shave that supposedly helps- balms, aftershave, electric razors, you name it- so feel free to give them a shot. Many people have different types of facial hair (many men have incredibly coarse hair, some have very fine hair), so a lot of finding your “ideal shave” will be trial and error and personal preference.

Body Hair

This is a rather hot-debated topic.

Here’s the gist: do not, under any circumstances, shave your entire body bald. For some reason, there is a ridiculous presumption towards this trend that spawns (in my opinion) largely from a desire for women to do the very same thing- but avoid the temptation. Most women I have talked to on the subject generally agree that some body hair is attractive and normal- it’s body hair in excess that is really bothersome.

If you do decide to manage body hair, get yourself an electric razor with a guard or otherwise trim the hair in a way that maintains the hair, but keeps it light. As many will tell you regarding pubic hair, “trim, not shave”- a particular rule I feel applies to almost anywhere on the body. It is entirely appropriate to, within reason, lightly trim down scraggly leg hairs or body hairs, and obviously the pubic region should be trimmed both for sanitation and aesthetics.

The only exception to the above rules is when you have a “rug” of back or chest hair. If you somehow manage to look like Tom Selleck in Magnum, PI, you have a problem. Wax it or shave it.

Fingernails and Toenails

Most men forget about these. Do not do so.

Within reason, one should have as manicured fingernails and toenails as possible. Dirty fingernails make you look unkempt and dirty, and generally signal overall nastiness. At least every week, clip your fingernails and toenails, and keep them short and rounded- do NOT, under any circumstances, square them off or otherwise “decorate” them. Push back the cuticles, but avoid cutting them unless you know how- you can easily develop an infection.

Manicures are acceptable only if polish is not used. Get one if you must before an excessively formal function or something. Or, even better, learn how to just keep your fingernails nice and tidy at home and avoid the charge altogether. The best way to achieve this is soaking your fingers in hot water, clipping them, applying some sort of cuticle lotion (or, more reasonably, olive oil), pushing back your cuticles gently, and cleaning them off and removing any dead skin. You can, of course, do the same for your toes, pending you want to put forward the effort.

Hair Product

I hate to admit this, but the new Axe commercials are accurate: Women do not like men with “crunchy” or over processed hair.

If you have short hair, and choose to use product, prefer waxes (or perhaps pomades) over gels. Gel, which had something of popularity back in the early ’00s and late ’90s, has a bad habit of making hair “clumpy” and hard- something entirely unattractive in an increasingly natural hair world. Whatever you use, use it lightly, applying through your hair (back-to-front) to allow for an even look. If you’re confused or otherwise need help, ask your hairdresser- often, they will be able to tell you what works for your hair best.

If you have long hair,the key is to keep it clean- which may require conditioner or other products. If you have to use them, use them- messy long hair is absolutely horrible.

Part 2: The Extras

Cologne

We’ve covered this, so I won’t go into excessive detail, but just keep the main idea in mind: do not go overboard. Cologne should be a nice little secret that women smell when very close to you in a very brief whiff, not an oppressive cloud that dominates the olifactory system of everyone who gets within twenty feet of you. Also remember to pair your cologne with whatever deodorant you are wearing (or ideally, wear a scentless deodorant)- don’t conflict people with smells.

Facial Scrubs

Yes, you can use these and maintain your masculinity. Hell, PDiddy made money off of hawking Proactive and talking about his acne, you really can’t be faulted for maintaining your own. Facial scrubs keep acne and various oils at bay, make your skin look healthier, and are ridiculously easy to use- there’s no reason to pass them up.

Facial scrubs come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and prices, but don’t obsess over them- just find something cheap and efficient and use it. Most facial scrubs are rather harsh, so do not use them more than once every two days, lest you dry out your skin and tear it up excessively.

Lip Balm

Use it as much as you please. Just don’t use lip gloss or anything silly like that.

Teeth Whitening Products

These are incredibly expensive, but invaluable for those who drink copious amounts of tea, soda, or coffee. Crest Whitestrips seem to be the common tool for such ends, but many other options work well. In addition, many teeth whitening toothpastes exist that will help you keep your teeth relatively white and clean- feel free to check them out. If teeth whitening is really an issue, consider going to a dentist and having an actual whitening procedure done.

Tanning Products

DO NOT USE. Do not become an orange Oompa-loompa. They do not work. Get a real tan.

Hair Straighteners

DO NOT USE unless absolutely necessary.

Too many guys know about managing their health too late. It’s not uncommon for me to recieve e-mails with questions begging for advice on how to lose a beer gut- or worse, how to deal with dieting after getting diabetes due to bad “gamer” eating habits caught up with them.

Let’s cut the crap for a second. Unlike what fast food commercials and bad American sitcoms would like you to believe, real men are healthy, and they proactively work towards being healthy. Real men do not need a triple-stacked hamburger with extra cheese to be men (because apparently in the world of Hardees, “Man” and “Heart Attack” are synonymous). Sure, we all like good food now and then- but too many guys are buying the concept of health stoicism so much, they end up regretting it later in life.

So let’s cut that out right now. In this article, I’m going to address the very basics of keeping healthy- things you absolutely need to know right now about eating, exercise, and even a little bit of sexual health. You don’t really know how little you know until you think about it.

Fact 1: You need to be eating healthy right now.

Metabolism be damned. I don’t care if you can eat raw lard and stay skinny: eating healthy is going to pay back both now and in the future. Sodas, while extremely tasty, should be sparingly drank, as with alcohol and any other high sugar drinks (this includes Vitamin Water). You do not need a plate loaded with food- eating smaller portions more often is better for your metabolism and it gives you more energy. Junk food (chips, candy, and virtually anything else you can imagine a fat trucker eating) should be eaten sparingly. No-one’s saying you can’t have a good old burger every once in a while- but when you eat them regularly, you WILL get fat- even if right now you aren’t visibly packing on the pounds.

One point about this: once you lose a battle, you do not lose the war. All of us have had days where we have chugged 30 sodas or consumed two boxes of Krispy Kreme- this does not mean you must give up on your diet plan. One of the best dieting plans I have ever heard (which was written in an ancient book about weight training) was simple: eat healthy 6 days of the week, and give yourself a reward on the seventh. Even if you can go all seven days healthily, don’t consider it the end of the world if you eat poorly: just get back on track ASAP.

Fact 2: You need to be exercising right now.

One of my biggest gripes as of recent is that many guys think that “healthy” is the same as “as skinny as humanly possible”. This is not true. Being skinny or underweight does not mean that you are exempt from exercising- exercising is for everyone, no matter what. You should be doing a balanced exercise routine at LEAST twice a week to maintain body health- the effects will be easily noticeable when you begin. Fat or thin, muscular or weak, you need to have a good weight lifting/cardio/stretching routine- not to “get buff” or “get thin”, but just to stay healthy. We will have articles on how to get muscular- but right now, just accept that even if you want to keep a skinny weakling body type (for whatever strange reason you may have), you still need to be pumping some iron, just not 300lbs.

Fact 3: You need to be sleeping better.

I soundlike a hypocrite saying this with my late nights often spent writing articles for Well Cultured, but you need to get more sleep. Sleep is the glue that holds everything together- and trust me, going without will destroy you in ways you cannot even imagine. The lack of sleep will lead to poor mental performance, poor physical performance (this includes sex), and overall poor hygeine. Consequently, oversleeping will make you sluggish and lazy, and in some rare cases (like if you sleep after eating), it can even contribute to weight gain.

Fact 4: Stop masturbating so much.

This doesn’t need to be said in more detail than this: overdoing anything will have bad consequences. While you’re certainly not going to grow hair on your palms, you can easily desensitize yourself, both physically and mentally.

Fact 5: Your skin needs to be treated too.

As I’ve said on here before, I am 110% against makeup of all kinds for men (for women, it is good and sometimes desperately needed). Still, that doesn’t mean you don’t keep care of your skin. If you have acne, purchase a good cleansing solution and use it correctly. If acne is not a problem, make sure to rub some lotion on your hands/face/wherever fairly often. This will not give you skin “like a woman”- rather, it will just keep it from getting nasty.

Also, I’m going to basically send a big middle finger to the paranoid people out there. Get a tan. For most of us pitiful Anglo-Saxons, we are much paler than we think we are- and trust me, even the “pale” actors/models have at least a base tan at all times. Don’t go oompa-loompa orange- just get yourself a bit of sun. It will look (and feel) healthy. Trust me, humans crawled outside for hundreds of years under the sun, going out to the beach once in a while is not going to give you skin cancer- put on some sunscreen and just enjoy it.

Fact 6: Treat your hair right.

Excessive hair abuse (or hair neglect) will make you look stupid. Wash your hair often and this will not be a problem. Don’t get excessive hair coloring done or obsess over heavy product (the more firm the gel, the more your hair is abused, really). While this shouldn’t apply to most of our readers, don’t nuke your hair or do anything crazy- trust me, for some of us, we won’t have that hair forever.

That being said, the second you begin to go bald, go to a good stylist and have her work with it, or just shave it bald. Bald is confident. Combovers are not.

Fact 7: Wear good clothing.

This applies to shoes more than anything else. Wear shoes that feel good and let your feet breathe and walk naturally- avoid wearing sandals or other poorly fitted shoes. Many good shoe stores will now assist you with finding your “fit”, and make getting shoes that feel comfortable and let your feet breathe a breeze.

Also, with general clothing, NEVER go too tight. Fitted is good, skin-tight, blood-vessel-constricting wear is not. I am not kidding when I have heard horror stories about what happens to your package when you wear tight “girl jeans”. Avoid that for your future children, or even just your future sex life.

Fact 8: Shave like you mean it.

When you shave, shave well- don’t just go over your face quickly with no shaving gel, you will get ingrown hairs (and in many cases, cut yourself). Make shaving a pleasant ritual- it’s generally best to do so after showering. Use warm water, lather up with a good shaving cream, and follow the grain of the hair as best you can. Your face will thank you.

Fact 9: Have good posture.

Good posture is confidence. I’m not kidding. Not only does good posture keep you from having to go to a chiropractor later in your life, but good posture projects confidence and strength- so it’s a damn important thing for both your social and physical health.

Okay, let’s do a test right now. If you are sitting down right now, check your posture. Are you leaning back far into the chair, hunched back, or somehow sliding down the chair? Then you have bad posture. While most of us geek types have devised some interesting ways to get comfortable in computer chairs (or beds, or whatever), it’s not good for the back, or even your arms/wrists as you twist and contort to type.

Similarly, even your stance while walking is a factor in good posture. Keep your shoulders back, eyes out, and avoid slouching. The era of the “teen geek slouch” with your hands jammed into your pockets and your eyes at the floor is over. Walk around like you own the floor you stand on.

Fact 10: Keep good mental health.

As silly as this sounds, your physical body also reacts to your mental health. Be it trying to jog a mile or make love to a beautiful woman, if you don’t have good mental health, you won’t have good physical health no matter how hard you try. Keep studying, reading, writing, meeting new people, and keep yourself mentally healthy overall, and you will have a much better time with any of the facts above, bar none. If you are depressed, there is no way in hell you will perform to the top of your abilities: so sort out mental issues with the same fervor you do physical ones. Trust me, it helps.

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One important thing about this list is that it is not in any order- everything I’m telling you is important in it’s own way. While it seems daunting to see such a list full of requirements and demands, trust me- things like these become natural, and doing things like exercising and eating healthy become so commonplace that you’ll forget you ever ate poorly. Focus on each item individually, and eventually your future self will thank you.