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The Femme Fatale: Why She is so Seductive and Why You Should Avoid Her

Written by Christina, Tuesday, September 15th, 2015 in Dating Columns, Sex & Dating

1. She’s attractive and charming.

unnamed (1)Femme fatales have this trait in common 99.9% of the time. Whether this attractiveness stems from her natural beauty or artificially-crafted beauty, this woman knows how to doll herself up. She knows how to work every ounce of her physical charm to your personal delight. Now, you might be wondering why this is problematic. Well, for one, the very wiles that she uses to you reel you in, she is likely using to reel in your buddy just across the way. This kind of woman is deeply insecure and needs constant attention from multiple male suitors in order to feel secure. You might question how does she differ from any other attractive woman, then? Well, a woman who is beautiful but does not have the makings of a femme fatale may attract men by her physical beauty, but she does so without any conscious effort on her own. Furthermore, you will find the ideal woman attractive, because of the way she is true to herself in her nature, her manner, and the way she lives her life. The femme fatale, on the other hand, will go out of her way to try to make you notice her and make you like her. If she were less attractive, most men would easily nail this behavior as desperation, but some men fall prey to her because of her overwhelming physical appeal.

2. She’s emotionally open and vulnerable.

Being emotionally open and vulnerable is necessary in order to have a happy and meaningful relationship. However, the femme fatale takes emotions to a whole new level. From her perspective, she is always the victim. Someone has always wronged her. Her greatest problem is not with the depth of her emotions that she displays but rather with her inability to take responsibility for her actions and to take control of her life. In her mind, you will always be the hero or the villain. There is little middle ground, when crossing her emotional terrain. She will always have you on your toes not knowing when her next emotional eruption will occur. How does she differ from the ideal woman? The ideal woman will also experience waves of emotions. However, her emotions will be balanced with a degree of reason. If she feels that she has been victimized, which more emotionally sensitive woman may feel this way often, she will at least have a concrete reason for feeling the way she does. In contrary to the femme fatale, she will also not blame others for her feelings. Instead, she will be able to acknowledge her weaknesses, emotional vulnerabilities, and other shortcomings with honesty.

3. She’s carefree. She makes life an adventure.

unnamed (2)While the femme fatale may be vibrant and appear to live a happy, fun-filled life. You will come to find that she lives a life of extremes. She is either extremely happy and fun to be around, or she is morbidly sad, angry, or depressed. She seems financially stable at one moment, and then you find that she is riddled in debt in the next. Her life lacks balance, because she lacks an internal balance within her psyche. She may have a mental problem, an emotional problem, or problems with substance abuse. These problems may be rooted in deeper issues from her past, which may be very legitimate. However, your dilemma is, although you may want to help her, there may be little you can do for her. Until she reaches a place of peace and acceptance within herself, she is not the best relationship material. An ideal woman may also have a past or may be struggling with some unresolved issues, as we all are. However, the difference between the femme fatale and the ideal woman is that the former will drag you down and make you responsible for problems that you did not create, while the latter, will be able to acknowledge her problems and communicate her needs to you. The ideal woman will give you ground to stand on and to move forward, while the femme fatale would rather wallow in her misery, as you stand by and keep her company.

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