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How to Emotionally Connect with a Woman During Sex

Written by Francesca, Tuesday, June 2nd, 2015 in Dating Columns, Featured, Sex & Dating


2357016368_624d62ee11_oNot all women think men are mindless creatures enslaved by raging hormones. We know you long for love and connection, too. Not only is it possible to achieve that through sex, but also sex was designed for that very purpose! You can emotionally connect with a woman during sex by doing the following.

Outside the Bedroom

I know the title says during sex, but for most women, sex is not an isolated event. Every part of a woman’s life influences her emotions, and her emotions influence her sexual performance. True emotional connection during intercourse begins outside the bedroom, so start there.

  • Learn her love language. As outlined in The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, there are five ways we show love: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. If you are speaking the wrong love language, she may not feel your love no matter how wonderful you’re being. If it’s not the way she wants to be shown love, it’s not going to help. It doesn’t matter that she knows you love her unless she feels it as well—her head and heart have to match.
  • Speak her love language. Once you’ve figured out what makes her feel loved, do it! Fill up her emotional love tank and you’ll be fueling her sexual desire for you as well. There is nothing sexier than a man who is in tune with a woman’s needs, or at least is trying to be!
  • Reveal your love language. Emotional connection is a two-way street. Tell her what makes you feel loved so she can express it the right way. When both of your love needs are being met, you will have a more powerful and intimate sex life.

Between the Sheets

A woman whose emotions are heard and valued is a more eager and secure lover. But don’t think that just because she’s ready to hop between the sheets, your work ends. Avoid ruining the moment by continuing to allow her to express herself.

  • Listen. Sex brings out vulnerability, and many women deal with it through talking. If she wants to talk, let her, even if it kills the mood for you. A woman needs to feel emotionally safe in order to be more confident and relaxed during sex. Besides, a woman’s mind is like a computer with several windows popping up and staying open at once. Letting her release some of that brain overload will help her focus better in bed. Once she feels listened to, she will easily get you back into the mood!
  • Pay attention. Similar to listening, be present and be attentive to her sexual cues. Make the environment distraction free: turn off the TV and your phone. Sex is like a dance, with both of you working together. Be too fixated on your own pleasure and she will feel used or neglected. Do something she’s told you countless times she doesn’t like and she will feel ignored and unimportant. And don’t use the excuse that all your blood is flowing to one place, leaving none for your brain! That’s sure to get you the cold shoulder or the couch.
  • Remember romance. To make a healthy, lasting emotional connection, be thoughtful and respectful. Make eye contact with her and try to speak her love language during sex. Unlock her heart and you unlock her passion.

A woman who feels loved, understood, and prized will open up her soul to you and cherish yours. Your yearning for each other will become both more intense and more enduring. Sex will be more than just a physical act of pleasure—it will be the way you two unite and strengthen all aspects of your relationship.

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