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Cougars: Fair Game or Not?

Written by Mr. WellCultured, Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008 in Sex & Dating, Sex Q&A

Yesterday, I posted on the forums about a website that I recently stumbled upon: UrbanCougar.com, the site that bills itself as “a celebration of the urbancougar lifestyle, the women who embody it, and the prey who love them for it!”. Long story short? A website for older women hunting for younger men (mainly in bars)- and younger men who idolize them.

The term “Cougar” has become more popular as of recent due to the movie Oceans 13, but it has been around for quite a while- as older women seek younger men. The fact of the matter is, so far as sexual maturity is concerned, the “theory” (or the supposed “science”) is that women are in their sexual prime much later than men, though obviously their childbearing years are much earlier. Men are supposed to be at their prime in their mid-20s, whereas women at their 30s+, and so-on.

Here’s the question: is it fair game to go after older women? Many cougars are actually married- leading one down the inevitable path of determining if hitting on older married women is actually fair or not. Even when single, many say that they feel that being a boy-toy is a bit of a bad position to place oneself in- as, obviously, your competiton (older than you) will have more money and stability, making you a temporary sexual plaything. On the other side, many argue that age is simply a number, and that older women deserve the same pleasures as younger women- and older ones often are more mature and less dramatic.

So, it’s time for yet another Sex Q&A- would you be comfortable with it?

My opinion is a mix of the above. First off, you should never hit on married women (if they can be wooed away by you, they can be wooed away from you by other men). However, I think that to some degree, the presumption that staying in your age group can be somewhat childish. If you have a thing for an older woman (or if she has a thing for you), there’s not much wrong with it so long as you treat it like a normal relationship. So far as websites like UrbanCougar are concerned, however, I think that promoting some bullshit “sexual awareness” (translation: the will to screw anything young with a pulse) is BS.

Thoughts?

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9 Responses to Cougars: Fair Game or Not?

  1. Thatismynoodle says:

    I think it would depend on the chemistry of the relationship.
    To be honestly I probably wouldn’t. The thought of dating someone in a different place in life would just not be something I would be interested in.

  2. Renee says:

    How about starting off by not referring to older women that date younger men as cougars..it is sexist and rude. Are you aware that there is no equivalent name for men that date younger women. This labeling is yet another attempt to control female sexuality and construct women as less than. As the question about age and dating but it can be done without resorting to demeaning labels.

  3. Daniel says:

    I have never heard of anyone going for married people ever coming out of the situation in one piece. Whether it’s girl seeking man, woman seeking guy, it’s just something that should never ever even be thought about. Honestly, the discussion shouldn’t even go past this because this is the WCA. This site is about being well cultured, and committing adultery is not being well cultured.

    On the other hand, if that woman is single then go for it. Sex is sex and we’re at a point right now where an age difference doesn’t matter a whole lot (unless it’s 20 to 30 some odd years difference, then that’s just weird).

  4. Renee says:

    Yeah but the age difference does matter in our social discourse..look at the way Demi Moore was treated by the Media for her relationship vs, Michael Douglas or Marilyn Manson who both by the way had a larger age gap. It seems that dating young is only acceptable if men do it.

  5. Daniel says:

    I have never heard of anything negative of Demi Moore’s relationship with Ashton Kutcher. If anything she almost looked empowered by it. Anyways, all I can really say is that people do what they want to be happy. If a woman wants to go for a younger man, then she’s more than welcome to. There’s really no social stigma to being a “cougar.” In fact, how can a word like that be even remotely offensive? It’s a word that has been around for a long time and it has never been put on trial.

  6. Certainly. says:

    Could you be more on the dot?
    Not only is discriminating because of age childish, it’s blatantly rude.
    Plus, this whole.. “hunting” and “preying” idea is rather creepy and demeaning in its’ own way.

  7. Aline says:

    I simply don’t care. If you love the person and want to be with him or her, age, genter and whatsoever does not matter. Really. And the way I’m going, I’ll probably only get younger guys, lol

  8. DEI says:

    I don’t see much wrong with wooing a married woman personally. If the woman is attractive and I am able to make her forget about her relationship then that’s not a problem with me but a problem with her relationship. Of course, I wouldn’t necessarily expect much to come of the relationship with this woman, but maybe that’s not what I’m always looking for.

  9. Batman Fan says:

    I think people’s problem is age gap. Look people, we live in the 21 century not the stone age anymore. If people want to date younger or older it’s nobody business but themselves.

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