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Conversational Hell

Written by Mr. WellCultured, Monday, January 4th, 2010 in Q&As

I’m not a very good talker. When I’m online, I’m good and can chat a ton. But in real life, I always get stuck with talking to people who talk over me. On my last date, the girl talked about herself all the time. What do I do in that situation?

Well, this is actually two issues- part of it lies in your own conversational skill, but it probably also relies heavily on your date.

As for your own conversational skill, there is nothing that beats real, actual practice. In my opinion, one of the biggest reasons your typical internet user has trouble conversationally and socially is that they don’t get practice in real world conversations- rather, they tend to get used to a special sort of talking, one often either too formal or too specialized for casual use. Much like one would do when learning a new language, the best way to beat sucking at casual conversation is to simply talk to people as much as possible. Talk to people in your classes, your work, even at stores- anything to “level up” conversationally, for lack of a better term.

Regarding the date situation, some girls just incessantly talk. It’s not entirely the most fun thing in the world- trust me, I’ve experienced it a huge amount of times (especially with girls ranting about personal issues I’d never wanted to learn about). In a date situation, there’s often a lot of pressure to impress and “perform”- and that may give the girl pressure to talk a lot and ramble- but sometimes it’s merely a personality thing. Either way, if you truly cannot wrest control of the situation and find it irritating, it may just be best to find someone whom you can have better conversations with.

So basically, go out, practice speaking, and preferably not with that girl.

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One Response to Conversational Hell

  1. pi4arctan1guy says:

    I’d recommend having about three backup topics sitting in the back of your head in case conversation falls flat. Things like hobbies, fun times you recently had, and your favorite music or games are good examples.

    Remember that if your date rambles, it may just be because she’s nervous. Try taking control of the conversation and see how she reacts to you doing so. She may actually prefer it.

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