For the first time in the history of Well Cultured, I actually held a good old fashioned survey. Finally breaking down (at about the 300th e-mail), I’ve decided to answer the many many sex myth questions that I get every so often.
First off, let me explain the process. I’ve interviewed (with standardized, open-ended questions) a number of women- from teens to 30somethings and even beyond, from all over the world (we even got an interview with a Bulgarian girl) to determine what the REAL verdict is on some of the top myths and questions I’ve gotten over the last year or so.
So, with no further adieu, I present to you the results, straight from women of the world.
Penis size is really something that plays on the male ego. In the simplest terms, it’s a tangible way for a guy to determine how much of a stud he is- he can easily equate a given size to his potency in bed. With this in mind, he presumes that how big (or how small) he is dictates his worth as a lover.
The Truth: Penis size only matters to men. Women, on the other hand, care about two things: girth and use, no matter how much they may claim otherwise. Girth, the actual circumference, matters because many women are stimulated by the actual feeling of being opened (instead of the feeling of being penetrated deep). In fact, a three inch member can easily provide just as much pleasure as a 7 incher, just so long as it is used right.
The fun part? It’s all about use. “Jelquing” or similar “enlargement” techniques actually are BAD for your junk- making them larger (And in effect, thinner) whilst damaging blood cells can basically make it useless. As we’ll go on to see, the actual penetration doesn’t matter much anyway.
It is important to note that a VERY small percentage of our group admitted to the “size queen” concept, which is simple- some girls like big members. Most of these girls are just ridiculously stretched out, and others are simply bitches. Your best option, big or small, is to simply ridicule her cup size.
That’s right, folks. Most women don’t really give a flying shit about the actual penetration involved- it’s about everything else. Most Women really care about their partner and the emotional situation, not so much the sex involved. This doesn’t mean you have to light candles and burn incense every time you want to get it on (many enjoy the thrill of going hard and fast too), but it does mean you need to keep in mind that there’s much more than “stick it in” sex.
In fact, some women actually claim that foreplay is fundamental, if not the only “good” part of sex. In my interviews, I heard the same thing over and over again: Foreplay is #1. Translation? Though your pleasure really begins once you stick it in, her pleasure begins way before and needs much longer to cultivate, so don’t jump too quickly.
Similarly, some women prefer “after sex”- as in, the cuddling. Yes, this seems ridiculous, but it can sometimes be the defining line between “amazing sex” and, as one girl put it, “ridiculous attempts at pleasuring me in 10 minutes”. Ouch.
Modern girls are now, more than ever, open to the idea of porn and masturbation. You read that right- most girls you know under the age of 40 are enjoying themselves just as much as you do, if not more. But there are some caveats.
First off, Women do not enjoy visual porn much. About 90% of all of the women interviewed generally accepted porn movies and images, but much preferred stories and setting- and, in effect, found sexual stories ten times sexier than downloading random crap off an image board. Much as mentioned above (as to setting a scene), this kind of stuff allows them to get “involved”, as it were, in the scene, and thus enjoy it much more than watching two sweaty pornstars pretend to enjoy each other.
Second of, Almost all Women do not like seeing penis. Virtually every single interviewee said the same thing: they like naked men, they don’t really care for penis. At all. Despite obviously enjoying the fun of sexual acts, most don’t like seeing them- much in line with the visual porn note above. This is why there really isn’t a porn industry targeting women- they really don’t care much. Interestingly enough though, bisexual/lesbian girls tend to like female porn. Go figure.
I know it sounds like I’m tooting my own horn here, but almost every interviewed girl likes a well dressed, well groomed man, and it’s by far the biggest turn-on. It doesn’t really have to be a full suit-and-tie combination, but no girl likes ill-fitting clothes. Interestingly enough though, most girls prefer a masculine wardrobe- except for girls in a specific cult (i.e. the scenegirls we interviewed, a bad idea in retrospect), most women are not into the whole “feminine guy” thing. Most girls interviewed don’t expect a guy to walk around in a full suit all the time, but many did note that jeans have to be of good quality and fitting- not just beat-em-up hand-me-down junk.
The verdict on this is obviously mixed a bit, but most women like men wearing fitting (and decent quality) jeans, good t-shirts, and, as one interviewee noted, “the only thing with holes should be a work uniform”.
While not in the kind of numbers we saw with the above, most women prefer dominant men. This is manifested from sex to even dating- they want men to take charge, plow forward, and, in some cases, “take what they want”. This isn’t exactly advocating to start being an insensitive dick, however, most women want a guy who is clear and goes after a woman with conviction, not questions.
This tends to be more prevalent in women over 25 or so, as many claim to be tired of wishy-washy or otherwise boring men. One fun aspect of this is that it translates into the bedroom big time: women want a guy who takes charge in the bedroom, and, in ways, dominates.
When it comes to body type, each woman likes a little something different- but all seem to have the same concept: a lean but muscular man. Translation? She wants muscle, but not in the Arnold Schwarzenegger roid-rage-ish way. Some girls tend to prefer heavily muscled guys, others prefer thinly muscled guys- but in general, most just like fitness.
Translation? If you’re weight lifting and exercising right (and NOT doing roids), you’ll turn out fine. Women who refer to “gross (as in nasty) muscle”, as we’ve learned, really are referring to bad images of overly-pumped body builders and “muscular fat”. Avoid this and you’ll do just fine.
Girls of today’s society are not going to be disgusted by the orgasm, nor are many going to be horrified at your member, or ejaculations, or anything like that. Most girls nowadays, virgins or even heavily experienced women, are very very knowledgeable (thanks to magazines, guides, and books) about your body, and in general, are fairly knowledgeable about what to expect. Even girls who had never kissed yet were fully educated about the nature of the male body, and most are not disgusted by the operations thereof.
Translation? There’s little punishment for “screwing up” as it were. Performance anxiety be damned. Most girls understand how difficult it is for some guys (and how easy it is for others), and most actually place the blame of bad sex upon themselves rather than their male partner. Sure, there are plenty of exceptions out there, but all in all, it’s a very receptive world out there. And, let’s face it, that’s a damn good thing.
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Why are you always insulting “relaxed fit” and similar jeans? Sometimes that’s all that fits.