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Yahoo seems to think women need to “win back” gaming boyfriends/spouses with, among other things, dressing like a night elf. What a joke. For some reason, there seems to be a common belief that gamers are like crack addicts, injecting themselves with token amounts of World of Warcraft and Resident Evil to survive life. We know that’s far from true (and if it is, that’s odd, because both games aren’t THAT great). So, in retort, it’s time for us to give OUR 7 tips- to help girls get into gaming, rather than encourage them to be scared of it.

7. Lay off the overbearing systems and equipment.

Okay, we all know what we secretly want: 50″ 1080p flatscreen LCDTVs with all of our next-gen consoles hooked up with HDMI cables blasting on a 7.1 Bose-quality speaker system. Most of us are probably working toward this goal in some direction, in almost a very stereotypically male fashion. Virtually every gamer in the world wants to be able to have the top notch quality equipment for their “gaming experience”- so you really can’t blame them.

Unfortunately, no surprise here, it comes off as a little bit much. Having a huge LED tube lit PC may be cool to your highschool buddies, but it doesn’t work as you get older. If you get a larger television or better PC, make sure to not place it as the center of the entire world and consider the general surroundings. It may pay off to stock up on good movies to watch as well- no-one said girls didn’t like technology, it’s just when you basically worship it that they get a bit scared.

6. Keep the discussion off the games.

Yes, this sounds boring, but avoid ranting about video games. I have personally experienced this as a friend of mine tried to, in detail, explain the story and mechanics of Final Fantasy 8 to a girl who had never played a game before- and, needless to say, she ran off almost screaming. It was too much: his overbearing obsession with the topic, the needless details he fed her, and his overwhelming expectation that she would actually care.

If you talk about video games, don’t be arrogant or rude- be relaxed. Much like if you were into skydiving, you need to realize that most girls (and some guys) will need you to explain things from square one, and briefly at that. It’s something of a social faux pas to be so overbearing- so relax and be casual about it. Just like you wouldn’t attempt to explain the entire distilling process to a girl you have a drink with, neither should you explain too much to a girl who is just casually interested in your hobby.

5. Avoid becoming too engrossed in video game forums.

Video game forums tend to be childish, somewhat boring, and most importantly, needlessly heated. There’s not much to say there- I don’t care who you are, what you say online CAN come back to you, in a very Densha Otoko sort of way. I know how things go as well as anyone, which is precisely why I say to avoid them: one or two “I’m so lonely” or “Girls are whores” threads can destroy a relationship, as silly as that may be.

4. Allot time to play and keep it in that manner.

Don’t forget to do the “chores” or any of that other stuff- give yourself time for gaming, and do it while you can do so without interfering with other responsibilities. For me, the rule has always been to do work in the morning/early afternoon and then relax my day with good gaming and other geekery- that way, you can focus on life from 9-5 and to a date or other functions, but still have some alloted time that you can relax and game away. Girls actually tend to prefer this- you will be somewhat regimented and relaxed, and if you ensure you focus your energies on her when you can (see below), it’s nothing more than a form of “guy’s night out”.

3. Make time for her truly time for her (AKA the no-sitting-around rule)

WHEN SHE IS AT YOUR PAD, DO NOT PLAY VIDEO GAMES OR SIT ON THE COMPUTER ALONE.

This is something that grinds at me like crazy. Do not do this unless your relationship is such where she is doing something else or doesn’t care. If she is doing nothing, you better NOT be playing Video Games, Computer Games, browsing the web… you name it. Don’t sit around and waste time you could be using to entertain her. Only highschoolers sit around and stare at each other with no general idea of what to do in mind- if in doubt, spend time doing nothing with her rather than entertaining only yourself.

This is not to say you can’t invite her to game or something, but it’s insulting if you ignore her, especially for electronic entertainment. It would be the same thing if she sat on her cell phone for hours at a time ignoring you- and making you just sit there and listen.

2. Introduce her to friendly games, avoid the fanservice.

Introduce her to games! It’s not that hard. Nothing says you can’t drop the needlessly complex/unfriendly games and pick up a party game or two. Believe it or not, the Wii is a great console for this- while the console is somewhat bereft of titles for people like me that like long RPGs and action games, the console is tailor made for general party gaming. Besides the general pervy comments about it (making girls jump around holding a phallic controller), it does well- and there’s nothing to say the 360 or PS3 won’t do well as well (though the PS3 is obviously lacking anything at the moment).

So what should you do? Get games that she will enjoy just as much as you. Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball 2 is a bad idea. Rumble Roses is a VERY bad idea. While girls have nothing against a little sexiness in games (some enjoy it), parading around softcore porn is a dumb move. You will always do much better with games like Halo or Super Smash Brothers rather than forcing girls to put up with the overdone semi-porn that comprises titles like “Playboy: The Mansion”.

There is a caveat though, and that is you can get away with more in video games if you swing it right. “Singles: Flirt up your Life” is actually incredibly sexual (to the point of being edited for the US release), but you pull it off. The rule applies here just like it does for movies and books: if it’s disgusting and aimed for guys, girls will not like it as much. Big surprise.

1. Stop playing so damn much.

Hey, this isn’t difficult! Stop playing so damn much. Stop grinding on WoW for hours until your steel chair molds to your body perfectly. Stop grinding away at RPGs for no reason. Don’t feel as if you have to play video games in your free time- trust me, there are much more useful, cheaper hobbies to have as well. I love gaming like everyone else, but when you do it so much that your spouse/girlfriend/whoever has to have an article from Yahoo! Video Games to help her figure out what to do, there is a problem.

Here’s a good benchmark: on a regular day (be it a work day, school day, or otherwise), if you play more than 3 hours of video games without it being a special occasion (as in, you have JACK to do, a holiday, etc), you are more than likely spending way too much time gaming. As spartan as it sounds, you should ration out your time wisely, as obviously too much begins to not only affect your sex life, but your work and education as well.

Why make this much effort? All I need to post is THIS:

http://www.gamegirladvance.com/archives/2002/10/26/sex_in_games_rezvibrator.html
I have never found a greater gaming-related article in my LIFE.

Tags: discussion, fanservice, gaming, geek theory, girls, internet, obsession